


s t o l e n

by ShortAngryGinger



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Brainwashing, Graphic Description, Graphic Descriptions of Torture, Keith is upset because PAIN, Kidnapping, Lance Needs a Hug, Langst, Lotor is an ass, Multi, Post Season 2, Slow Burn, Thought Reform, Torture, emotional torture, obsessive lotor, season two spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-10-06 04:25:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 36,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10325561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShortAngryGinger/pseuds/ShortAngryGinger
Summary: “His name is Lance, your majesty,” Haggar began. “He has proved that his talents lie in ranged combat, but overall, his is an… inconsequential member of Voltron with very little importance.”“I want him to be mine.”~Just your classic Lotor being obsessed with Lance. With a hell of a lot of Klance sprinkled in there.~





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovlies! <3  
> First, I'm dedicating this to @technomint bc fucking A N G S T and GOD DAMNIT DEM KLANCE FEELS  
> This is the first fic I've posted on AO3 so please bear with me as I try to figure out all of the mechanics! This fic is still also in the process of being written, so I will try to update as frequently as possible, but please understand that I am a junior with an AP schedule -_-Anyway... thank you all so much, and enjoy!

_“I want_ him _. ”_

_The complaints of the witch besides the Galran Prince fell on deaf ears._

_He strided over to the strategy table that sat in the center of the war room. There were five hologram disks, one for each of the corresponding Voltron Paladins. With unusual care, the prince’s clawed hand gently lifted one of the disks off the table._

_“The Blue Paladin, who is he?” his eyes widened as he scanned over the hologram, taking in every detail of the small figure._

_The witch sighed again. “His name is Lance, your majesty,” she began. “He has proved that his talents lie in ranged combat, but overall, his is an… inconsequential member of Voltron with very little importance.”_

_“I want him to be_ mine _. ” Lotor practically ignored Haggar’s attempts to lessen his interest in the Blue Paladin. His voice was filled with a rotten intensity that teetered on the verge of insanity._

_Haggar stood silent. The prince was known to have eccentric obsessions all consuming fixation on whatever pleased him at the time._

_“I would not adviseㄧ”_

_“Then don’t.” Lotor cut her off abruptly, spinning to face her with a wicked grin. “You may have been seen as valuable by my father’s regards, but that doesn’t mean that I have to follow your counsel.” his lips stretched into a smirk._

_The witch fell silent again. Under her hood she festered with anger. He was nothing but an idiotic_ child _. He was impulsive, and his only goals were what he deemed beneficial to himself. Imbecile._

_“Have the Druids bring the Black Paladin to me,” Lotor’s smirk grew into an ominous grin as Haggar nodded._

_Lotor stared at the hologram of the Blue Paladin, Lance, as Haggar left. The image was entirely blue, and the quality low, but Lotor found him strikingly beautiful. Lotor wanted him to be his and his alone._

_Lotor reasoned that, not only would it satisfy his own desires, but it would prevent his adversaries from forming Voltron as well. There was no way he could lose in this situation._

_The Black Paladin looked ragged when he was dragged into the War Room._

_Still smiling, Lotor crouched to the man’s level. The blue hologram sat clutched in his hands. “If you want to see your teammates again,” Lotor’s voice was low, but sharp. “You will tell me everything about the Blue Paladin.”_

_Shock and worry filled Shiro’s eyes, but he stayed stoic, remaining his ground even though his pulse skyrocketed. What did he want with Lance, what would happen whenㄧ_

_Lotor nodded at the Druids, who sent arcs of electricity at the man. Shiro screamed in agony as the electricity shot through his body._

_“Tell me!” Lotor demanded again, with more anger in his voice this time, but then steadied himself, kneeling down by Shiro’s ear. “If you don't tell me where he isㄧ”_

_“I will never tell you where any of them are!” Shrio spat blood at the Galra as he spoke. He would rather die before he gave any of them up._

_Lotor smiled, eerily calm as he wiped Shiro’s blood off of his chin. “I am going to have so much_ fun _breaking you.”_

 _Again, Shiro screamed._  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've written the next chapter, but I still need to find the time to type it up.  
> I originally wanted to combine both this, and the first chapter, but I now feel like they'd be better, and more impactful separate.  
> ~Until next time~  
> <3


	2. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely responses <3 I truly am flattered <3<3  
> Guess who spent all of her AP History class typing !!!!  
> ME!!!!  
> Enjoy~

Keith wanted to scream.

It had been month since Shiro had vanished and they _still_ didn’t have any leads on where he might be.

He was starting to lose hope.

Shiro had asked him to lead Voltron, but Keith didn’t feel like he was mentally capable of doing so. He had gone to Allura and _begged_ her to pilot the Black Lion. He didn’t understand why Shiro though he was worth enough to lead everyone, but Allura ultimately refused, saying that they should respect Shiro’s wishes.

Keith wanted to cry.

Surprisingly, it was Lance, of all people, who Keith had found comfort in. They all had, really. Lance was the one positive voice in a sea of hopelessness.

“We can’t just _stop_ looking for him!” Lance’s voice echoed off the walls of the large Bridge room of the castle. “This is _Shiro_ we’re talking about guys!” his arms were thrown up in exasperation.

No one responded. Even Hunk, who would usually tried to lighten the mood, had begun to look bleak after several months of searching.

“Shiro wouldn’t stop looking for _any_ of us, and you all know it!” Lance crossed his arms over his chest. “So why in _hell_ would we ever give up on him? Quiznack, he’s our   _leader!_ We can’t _abandon_ him!”

In his heart, Keith knew that Lance was right. They couldn’t give up on Shiro. Not ever. But the team couldn’t function correctly without him either. Keith wasn’t a leader―he had a feeling that everyone knew that.

“But how are we going to find him?” Pidge croaked out. It had hit her hard when Shiro went missing. He was one of the only people who might’ve had some insight on where her family was.

“We’ve been looking for my dad and Matt since we first got out here, and I barely have _anything_ on a possible location. And this is _Shiro_ we’re talking about. The pilot of the Black Lion, Leader of Voltron. Wherever he is, someone might’ve handed him over to the Galra―Who knows how long it will take to find him!” Tears threatened to spill over the edge of her eyes.

Keith knew that she spent every waking moment looking for Shiro and her family. There had been countless times where he had walked in on her yelling and crying, or slumped over her computer because she’d fallen asleep from exhaustion. Losing them was tearing her apart.

“Lance is right.” Keith said finally. “Even if we have no leads, we have to keep looking. Even if the Galra have him, Shiro’s smart. He’s escaped before―and if that’s where he is, he can do it again.”

Keith knew that he was being optimistic―and Pidge was right too. Shiro was more than a human pilot, he was one of the Galra’s greatest adversaries. If they had him, god knows that they would _not_ let him go easily.

Everyone dispersed after that. None of them tried to make jokes anymore―except sometimes Lance, but he knew that he was pushing it.

They just all went to do  their respective activities, but Lance followed Keith back to his room.

“I hate just sitting around and waiting like this!” Lance yelled and began pacing around Keith’s room as soon as the door slid shut. Keith slumped onto his bed, face planting into his pillows.

“Why aren’t we _actually_ searching for him?! What good is it just sitting here doing nothing?!”

“I don’t know Lance,” Keith grumbled.

Keith knew that he’d been overtraining as of late, but he didn’t really care. He needed someway to let out all of his frustration, and maybe somehow become stronger, to be a better Leader. He _knew_ that he couldn’t replace Shiro, but sometimes it felt like that everyone else expected to.

“By the way, I’m on fire.” Lance’s voice spoke calmly from across the room.

Keith shot up, eyes slightly dazed. “ _What?!”_

“You’re zoning out dude!” Lance stood over Keith. His fingers poked Keith right in the center of his forehead with one hand on his hip.

Keith sat up completely,  swinging his legs off the bed and pressing his face into his gloved palms. “I know, Lance. But everything is just so―”  
“Fucked up?” Lance suggested. He sat down on the bed, forcing Keith to scoot over. “We can’t just lose hope though, you know?” Lance elbowed his side. “Shiro’s smart. _Fuck―_ he somehow manages to put up with all of our crap, _and_ lead Voltron. He has a freaking _robot arm_ for pete’s sake! He’s going to be fine!”

Keith gave a half smile. “I guess you’re right.”

Spontaneously, Lance stood, his arms out in a T shape. “ _What?!_ Did Emo-boy Keith just admit that I was _right?!”_

Although it was half heartedly, Keith laughed, which made Lance’s face turn into a soft smile.

“See,” his arms crossed over his chest. “You _can_ smile.”

“Thank you Lance.” Keith smiled. Lance could be a total idiot, but Keith always found it somewhat comforting. “Really. I mean it.”

“Everything is going to be alright.” Lance smiled once again. “Now i’m going to go to bed, but if you need anything, let me know okay? Like, just feel free to come in―seriously.”

Keith nodded, thanking him, but he honestly felt bad for burdening Lance with his problems. He really did appreciate the fact that Lance wanted to help and make him feel better, but Keith felt somewhat guilty.

Lance didn’t say anything else. He just shot Keith a warm smile before he left, closing the door behind him.

Keith fell back onto his bed. He still wanted try cry, but Lance’s unboiled hope and support was comforting to him, to know that not everyone saw Keith as a complete and total failure of a leader.

Keith rolled over, hugging his pillow as he groaned. Why couldn’t Shiro just be here when he woke up. There was nothing that Keith wouldn’t give to get Shiro back safe.

* * *

 

The castle was silent.

It was late enough that even Pidge had dragged herself into bed.

Everything was still.

Nothing changed, nothing moved as an intruder silently appeared in a puff of smoke, at the end of one of the darkened castle hallways.

Heels clicked on the floors, accompanied by the small clicks of small circular devices on hallway walls. It took no more than ten minutes to set bombs in the entirety of one of the castle’s wings.

The Galra with the long, silvery hair stepped forward, placing one final device on the two walls adjacent to the BLue Paladin’s bedroom.

Not only did Lotor want Lance, he wanted a _show._

Debris rained down around him. Lance sat up, dazed from sleep, confused as to why his door was gone, and very well aware of the throbbing pain that stretched from his head, all the way down his left arm.

A figure stepped into the room, and a pair of hands pulled Lance out of his bed. In his post-sleep stupor, Lance didn’t react besides yelling when he yelped in pain as a pair of clawed hands dug into the skin around his shoulder. His body was dragged from the room, over the fallen walls and down the hallway.

Lance looked up at the Galra who held him. He looked back down at Lance with sultry eyes.

It terrified him.

Lance began to struggle. “Who the _fuck_ are you?!”

“We’ll have time for pleasantries later,” the Galra replied, looking back up at the hallway that lead to the Bridge.

Lance struggled. Like _hell_ would he let this Galra asshole drag him around like some dead animal.

It was difficult to hear Lance’s cries for help over all the noise. He head Allura’s voice over the intercom, franticly announcing the presence of an intruder in the castle. Alarms blared, but he tried anyway.

Before Lance realized what what happening, his body skidded across the floor. His head made contact with a corner and his head _spun._ Lance could feel the blood spilling from his split skin, dripping down the back of his neck.

“Hello _Paladins_.” the unknown Galra smirked, although Lance’s vision was mostly blurry and he could barely make out more than shapes and colors.

His presence in the room was dominating, it made Lance want to cower into himself. His body wanted to pass out, but a body pressed up behind him, maneuvering and supporting him so that he was sitting up versus being slumped over on the floor.

“I have a proposition for you, Blue Paladin,” the stranger’s smile grew wider.

The look on his face made Lance shiver. A chill went down his spine and all of the hairs on the back of his neck stood frigid.

“Give yourself to me,” there was a puff of purple smoke, and suddenly the Galra had _Shiro_ slumped over.

Lance could hear Keith’s gasp come from behind him, and he could only imagine what was going through his head right now. Shiro was dressed in the Galra’s prison rags. His head lolled and he groaned. He looked like he had gone through hell and back.

“And I will return your leader to you.”

Lance froze. He _knew_ how much everyone needed Shiro. He knew how much _pressure_ Keith had put on himself as Voltron’s temporary leader. He saw the moments where Keith was _so close_ to breaking. He was beating himself up over this and it _pained_ Lance to watch him do this.

Lance turned to all of his friends, the looked back at him with shocked expressions on their faces. They all _needed_ Shiro, more than they needed Lance.

“If you give Shiro back, then _fine_.” Lance turned away from everyone, moving to stand. Hunk let out a strangled noise as he protested by gripping Lance’s arm.

“It’s not worth is Lance!” Shiro managed to lift his head. Blood and sweat mixed on his face, his eyes were filled with tears. “Not for me.”

“They need you Shiro,” Lance managed to pull away from Hunk. His legs shook, but he was finally able to stand.

“We need you too Lance!”

Lance turned, slowly, towards his friends. Hunk was still kneeling on the ground, but his body had begun to shake violently with tears.

Pidge stood behind Hunk. She wasn’t crying, but her eyes were red and her jaw clenched tightly. At her sides, her fingers were curled tightly into fists.

Allura still looked shocked. One arm stood outstretched while he jaw hung slack. She made no nose, but tears still leaked from the edges of her eyes.

Coran looked distraught and upset, but he couldn’t really react while he struggled to hold Keith back by his elbows.

It had been Keith who had called out to Lance.

God _dammit_ Keith struggled. Blood was dripping down from his eyebrow, Lance thought he must’ve been hit with some of the debris during the explosion. His blood mixed with his tears. Lance could see the rage and absolute _fury_ in his eyes.

“Don’t have too much fun without me, okay guys?” Lance gave a pained smile before turning back towards Lotor and Shiro. “And you promise me that you won’t hurt any of them?”

Lotor smiled in triumph. “You have my word.”

Lance nodded grimly, and began stumbling away from the rest of his team.

Again, Shiro tried to tell Lance that it wasn’t worth it, that he would get himself out of there on his own, there was other ways. Likewise, Keith was _fighting_ to get away from Coran. He pulled and he kicked and he _screamed_ for Lance to stop but his mind already made up.

Lance had almost made his way over to Lotor, but his head injuries made the room start to sway, and he begun to fall forward.

Shiro was thrown towards the rest of the Paladins. He slumped forward before hitting the ground and passing out from exhaustion.

Lance had outstretched his arm to catch himself, but instead he felt the clawed hands of the Galra ensnare his wrist, yanking Lance’s rag-doll body towards his chest.

Lotor smiled down at Lance, a crazed look in his eyes that filled Lance’s stomach. But he didn’t want to show how incredibly scared he was.

This was for the best. They had Shiro back, after months of searching they _finally_ had him back. They would be fine without him.

Someone yelled his name, but it didn’t completely register in Lance’s mind. A violet smoke filled the air around Lance and Lotor and suddenly, the castle was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sorry.  
> Hopefully I can write more off (finish ???) the second chapter today.  
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got called into work tonight, so I typed this up pretty quickly, so if there's any spelling/grammar things that are weird, I'll go back in and fix them later, but I just really wanted to get this up!!  
> Thank you all so much for your lovely comments <3  
> Feel free to follow me on tumblr/youtube/instagram @thespasticphoenix  
> *Hugs because this is a tough chapter*  
> xx

_“Lance!”_

Keith managed to pull away from Coran, his arms extended in a futile attempt to grab ahold of Lance’s pajamas. Instead, both Lance and the Galra had vanished in a plume of purple smoke.

Keith collapsed on the floor where they both one stood. Angry tears threatened to spill onto his face. He hand wanted Shiro back _so bad_. But not like this. Not by losing Lance.

Behind him, Coran and ALlura had already rushed to Shiro, picking his limp body up. Which left only Hunk, Pidge and Keith in the room as the pair carried Shiro down the hallways, towards the Medical Bay.

“It’s not _fair!_ ” Pidge’s voice erupted in the silent room. In a fit of rage, she screamed with pure fury. She began to kicking and hitting any object that was in arm’s reach.

Keith turned around in time to see Hunk―who still had tears flooding from his eyes―wrap his arms around Pidge. He lifted her up in an attempt to steady her flailing limbs.

“It’s not fair!” she screamed again. Her arms and legs slowed until her body hung limply in Hunk’s grasp. “He―Lance…” she broke down into sniveling tears. “Why would he _do that?!”_

Keith didn’t know. No one did, so no one spoke. They were all to shaken to think anything past the fact that Lance was _gone._

“Come on,” Hunk’s voice was low, his voice still shaky. “Let’s make sure Shiro’s alright.” Pidge nodded weakly―still blubbering, but Keith could barely hear him. He didn’t realize that he’d been crying until his body couldn’t produce any more.

_Fuck this._

Keith stormed out of the room in outrage. His feet carried him down the hallway towards Lance’s room where his door had been blown open.  The blast had knocked down the part of Keith’s walls as well―considering that their rooms were relatively close to each other, which resulted in the cut along his eyebrow.

Debris was scattered all down the hall. In a blind fury, Keith began to kick at the fallen walls. Keith didn’t care that blood dripped onto his eyelid. He didn’t care that his throat was raw from screaming. He didn’t care about the hot throbbing _pain_ that engulfed his foot. It didn’t _matter_ . _None_ of it mattered considering that Lance was _gone_.

After a matter of minutes, Keith realized how fatigued, and worn down, both physically and mentally, he was. He openly weeped as he slumped to the floor against a wall that was still, for the most part, intact.

Sure―they had Shiro back now. But what about _Lance?_ With Shiro, they’d had absolutely no _idea_ where he could’ve been. For Keith, that thought had made things somewhat easier because for all they had known, Shiro could’ve been off somewhere hiding, somewhere safe. Obviously, that wasn’t the case in the end, but with Lance it was _different._

They all _knew_ that the Galra had Lance. They were probably going to torture him for information―kill him, for all that they knew. Lance gave himself up to that, because it would get Shiro back.

Of course Keith wanted Shiro back. But not like this.

Not by losing Lance.

* * *

 

The jump from the castle to the Galra ship had knocked Lance out and he woke up in the dark several hours later.

He blinked, trying to force his eyes adjust to the room around him. But the room was so dark that he couldn’t see absolutely _anything_.

Chains rattled when he tried to sit up. His hands were encased in some sort of medal glove that would prevent any use of his hands whatsoever. Died blood was caked on his head. It cracked and tugged when he moved, pulling at his hairs in an _extremely_ painful manor. And on top of that all, his arm _throbbed_.

Even being in the dark, Lance could _feel_ how his left arm was bent at an odd angle. He could feel all the blood pumping into his arm and it fucking _hurt_. He couldn’t move without wanting to pass out again.

Overall, Lance felt like shit.

The door clanged open and purple light flooded into the room. It wasn’t bright by any means, but at least Lance could see now.

A looming figure stood in the doorway. Lance felt like their yellow eyes were boring under his skin and into his soul. It made him want to die.

“Hello _pet_.” the figure smiled gleefully.

“Who the fuck are you?!” Lance’s lips were dry, cracking as he spoke.

The Galra walked over till he was at the point where he towered above Lance. “Is that any way to great a _Prince?”_ He crouched down until he was eye level with Lance. He then took one of his clawed hands, stroking it along Lance’s cheek.

Lance couldn’t stop the hand. He tried to move away from the touch, but the pain in his arm flared up. The Galra’s hand was _burning_ against his cold, clammy skin. The touch made him feel absolutely disgusting.

The Galra cooed at him. “Soon, you will _yearn_ for my touch, Paladin.”

Lance wanted to puke.

“I am Prince Lotor,” he smirked as Lance still attempted to wiggle away. “Heir to the Galran Empire and―”

“So?” Lance interjected, his voice cracking. “If you’re trying to intimidate me, it won’t work.”

Truthfully, Lance was lying. He was fucking terrified. God knows what this guy―Lotor―was going to do to him. And he assumed that he was on a freaking _Galra Ship._ He probably had three times the security on him considering that he was part of Voltron so who even knew if his friends were even going to find him.

“I don’t wish for you to be _scared_ of me,” Lotor grabbed Lance by the chin. “The is the _last_ thing that I want.”

“What do you want then?” This time when Lance spoke, he spat blood onto Lotor’s face.

In a sickening act, Lotor’s hand left Lance’s face. He brought his thumb up to the blood splatters on his face, and to Lance’s horror, then brought it to his mouth.

“I want _you_ .” Lotor’s spoke after tasting Lance’s blood. His yellow eyes grew, filling with a possessive look that made Lance want to cower. “I want you to be _mine.”_

Lance trembled where he sat. Not because of the frigid air of the room. Not because of the chill of his sweat soaked shirt. Because he was in much deeper shit than he originally thought.

* * *

 

Keith had broken his toes while in the process of taking his anger out on the rubble around Lance’s room.

His toes, coupled with the cut on his eyebrow, had made Allura decide that Keith needed to spend a small amount of time in one of the healing pods. Keith was somewhat grateful, because it was probably going to be the only way he would be able to sleep.

Keith had also gone into a rage like this after they had all discovered that Shiro was missing.

He had sprinted from the Black Lion in the hopes that maybe Shiro had already gotten out of there. He was somewhere else in the castle, but he was here. He was _safe._

Keith had gone into a panic when they couldn’t find him.

He remembered going into a blind panic because Shiro just, _wasn’t here_. His head buzzed, and before he realized what he was doing, Keith had gone to the kitchen and began to slam everything that he could into the walls and into the floor.

Then Lance was there. He had to dodge a flying plate, but Lance for some reason or another decided to stay. He stayed patiently at the edge of the room until Keith had exhausted himself, and his punches had degraded into weak slaps.

That was when Lance came over and wrapped his arms around Keith.

Lance had then taken Keith back to his room and let Keith cry. Now, Keith wasn’t sure how long he had wailed before his tears eventually turned to snivels, but Lance had stayed with him, holding him, until after Keith had exhausted himself to the point of sleep.

He was the only person that Keith had trusted with his raw emotions, but now he was just _gone_.

Allura still sat in the Med. Bay when his pod opened.

He stumbled out, and Allura caught his arm, handing him his clothes so he could change out of the healing pod bodysuit that made Keith feel like he was suffocating.

Even after he changed, there was still a strong sense of numbness in his chest that made Keith feel like he was going to collapse. Still, he managed to walk back out to the Med. Bay and sit next to Allura.

She was completely focused on Shiro’s healing pod.

“How is he?” Keith asked quietly.

It took Allura a moment to answer. Keith could tell that she’d been crying. Her normally crystal eyes were diller, and her body seemed to droop inward on herself.

“For now… it appears that he is stable.” she sat up and turned to face Keith fully. “But…” more tears welled up in her eyes and she struggled to speak. “But Lance―”

Keith’s chest tightened and Allura broke out into sobs.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen to him and it is _terrifying_ to me!”

Keith knew exactly how she felt.

Allura’s breaths were short, and it almost sounded like she was on the verge of crying out in petrified screams. She was hunched over though, in some futile attempt to hold it all in. Sht tried to keep herself together but she just _couldn’t_.

Keith wrapped  his arms around her. He new that she’d always found Lance slightly irritating, with the constant flirting and cocky attitude, but it was _Lance._ Even if he was the most annoying person in the universe, we weren’t at team _without him_.

Keith was not a people person, but it was obvious that Lance giving himself over to the Galra had _shattered_ her.

“Once Shiro is out of the pod, we can talk to him about who it was that ook Lance,” Allura pulled herself out of Keith’s hug once she was able to steady herself. “But I don’t want Hunk and Pidge to be there. “

Keith blinked at her. “We can’t just _not_ include them in this!”  
“I don’t want them to have to endure any more―”  
“What? Pain?” Keith felt bad for snapping at her, but they couldn’t just _not talk with them_. “They were closer to Lance than _any_ of us! Not including them in this would be just _wrong_!”

Allura looked down shamefully, but noddinging. “I understand.” Again Keith felt bad for yelling at her, but it needed to be said.

“He should be out in a few days. We can talk to him with everyone _,_ then.”

Before leaving, Keith tried to ask Allura when the last time she ate was. She told him that she was fine, and that she’d stay and watch Shiro until he woke up. Keith knew that she was lying. Shiro’s disappearance had hit her as had it did Keith.

As he left, Keith realized that the numbness in his chest hadn’t gradually gone away after he got out of the healing pod. It wasn’t something that could just be _fixed._

And until they got Lance back, that numbness would never go away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly shorter this time, but I'll make the next one very Lance-centric and probably longer  
> xx  
> Bye for now :*


	4. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT!!!!! RATING CHANGE!!  
> Thank you all for your wonderful comments <3 It seriously makes my day when I read them!!   
> Also, I would like to mention that I did change the rating from Teen to Mature.   
> I did this because (in this chapter especially) it does go into detailed descriptions of torture and has examples of Thought Reform techniques which some people might uncomfortable.   
> But anywayyyyyyyyy... this is a completely Lance centric chapter, so enjoy!!!  
> ig/yt/tumblr: @thespasticphoenix

Lance had promised himself that he would not give up. He had convinced himself that his friends would come for him. They would save him.

They would come for him...right?

Lance had been in the same room, chained in the same place for  _ God knows _ how long.

After Lotor had spent an uncomfortable amount of time stroking Lance’s skin like some kind of  _ doll _ , he had been left completely alone. 

The room where he was being held would alternate within four different parameters. The room would either have no light whatsoever, drowning him in complete, and absolute darkness. Or the room would be completely white. So much so that Lance couldn’t open his eyes without his head throbbing violently.

Likewise, the room would alternate between freezing temperatures, and dry, boiling air. The skin where the metal cuffs―which incased the entirety of each of his hands―ended, would enter the early, and sometimes moderate, stages of frostbite. Within the cuffs themselves, Lance could feel the raw blistering of his fingers from when the metal was heated to temperatures that  _ burned _ his hands, making him scream his throat raw.

He couldn’t scream anymore.

After Lotor had left him, Lance had spent what felt like  _ hours _ screaming insults and threats at the top of his lungs. Everyone else  _ would _ find him. And when they did, they were going to kick Lotor’s ass. They would find him. He would be  _ saved _ .

Lance found that he was much braver in yelling these insults when he was alone. When the threat of the Galran Prince wasn’t directly in front of him.

He felt like a coward.

Lance wasn’t sure how much time had elapsed since he’d been brought here. The changing of the lights and temperature wasn’t in any sort of pattern. 

Lance had not been able to sleep since Lotor’s visit. 

Every time he began to nod off, there would be the noise of a siren that sounded like a prolonged version of a Pacer beep that had been pitched to the point that caused Lance’s eardrums to buzz. Making all the exhausted muscles in his body stiffen to the point of strain.

He has spent countless hours in complete darkness, or the blinding white light. The only thing that had kept Lance sane was the pain and discomfort of his own body.

He was chained in such a position that put immense amounts of stain on him, and he couldn’t move from this position to gain any sort of relief for himself. There was a throbbing pain from his head, and down his arm―injuries from the explosions in the castle. His clothes were matted to his skin with blood, sweat, and other bodily fluids. Lance wanted to cry, but he wasn’t physically capable of doing so.

He did not remember the last time he had had a meal.

Lance had not been given any food or water since his capture. The gnawing in his stomach grew exponentially, and the burn of his dry throat had spread throughout his entire body. All moisture had left his skin, and it became raw and cracked because of Lance’s lack of water. 

Part of him wished he could die―just to end it all.

Lance couldn’t see straight.

As much as he tried to focus on a single spot, his head spun and made him feel like he was going to vomit. There were times where the pressure of the room would change to the point where Lance couldn’t breathe. His chest would burn and his head would spin from lack of oxygen, but it never got to the point where he’d pass out. At this point, he would have welcomed it, just to sleep.

But they would not let Lance sleep.

They would not let him die.

* * *

 

He wasn’t sure weather to be happy when someone finally came to retrieve him, or if he should be scared for his life.

Almost instantly, a blindfold was placed over his head, making Lance’s heart rate rise in panic. He could hear the shuffling of feet, his body was thrown against the wall and pushed upwards until his feet could no longer touch the ground.

Fists made contact with his body. He groaned, but couldn’t fight back. The only thing that Lance could really  register was the hateful words and insults that were being thrown at him by the guards.

“Paladin?” One of them questioned from besides Lance’s head. “He doesn’t look like he could last against a  _ rat. _ People’s expectations for the ‘Universe’s Defender’ are really distorted then.” 

“He  _ gave himself _ to Prince Lotor,” the other guard cackled, his grunts paused as he stopped pummeling Lance’s broken body.. “What’s this human  _ asking for,  _ huh? Got tired of playing hero?” Lance was hit in the ribs.

Pathetic. Useless. Inferior. You are not a soldier. You do not fight for freedom. You are pathetic. You are not saving anyone. You are a child. You are broken. Fighting is useless. You will never be free. You will never save anyone. You can’t even save yourself. You are not worthy. You are wrong. You don’t need saving. No one wants you to save them. No one  _ needs _ you to save them. You are pitiful. You are hopeless.

You. Are.  _ Pointless _ .

The beatings and the insults occurred―or what Lance presumed was―daily.

It was always ever two soldiers. One would hold Lance against the wall, his restraints straining, while the other one beat Lance to near death. Lance wished he was dead.

He  _ was _ pathetic, wasn’t he?

He’d never really fit with the team. 

He’d never been any help. 

He didn’t contribute. He wasn’t important.

He didn’t make them any better. They were fine without him.

They never really needed him. 

They were fine.

* * *

Finally the day came where Lance was removed from the room.

He had no idea where he was. His sense of direction was replaced with a constant feeling of dizziness and disassociation from his body.

His head grounded itself again when he was shackled to a chair. 

The chair sat in front of a table. It was uncomfortable and rickety, but it was the first time―in God knew how long―that he wasn’t on the floor.

Lotor sat at the head of the table. He smiled at Lance with the twisted smirk that made him Lance shiver. Calmly, he ate an extravagant meal while he watched Lance’s actions, eyes gleaming.

The rest of the table held a  _ feast _ . 

Without thought, Lance jolted forward. He was so  _ damn  _ thirsty. He  _ needed _ water. 

The glass of water in front of Lance was knocked over when arcs of electricity made it’s way through Lance’s weak body. 

His body shook  _ violently _ , without hope of an end. Lance’s limbs convulsed with electricity, and he couldn’t control the flailing of his appendages. His body was on  _ fire. _ He could taste the pooling of blood in his mouth, assuming that he bit down on his tongue once the electrocution had begun.

When the electricity flowing through him  _ finally  _ ceased, Lance’s body slumped forward―As far as the chains would allow, and he got to watch the droplets of water slowly roll off the table.

He wanted to cry.

“Evening,  _ Pet _ .” Lotor smirked, lowering a glass from his lips and swallowing. Lance was so  _ thirsty _ .

“I’m not your pet.” Lance managed to say through gritted teeth.

Again, the electricity ran through him.

“As you can probably already tell, I have a fairly simple game for us to play, Pet.” Lotor sighed when the electricity stopped again. He placed his fork on his plate and folded his hands together on the table in front of him.

“You’re going to  _ correctly  _ answer my questions, and you will be rewarded.” Lotor gestured to the food on the table. “And you have already discovered what will happen if you answer incorrectly, my sweet.”

“I’m not―”

Pain consumed Lance again.

“ _ Wrong. _ ” Lotor snapped as Lance shook in his chair. He looked bored as he waited for Lance to finish thrashing.

Lance’s breaths were rapid, his heart racing once the electricity stopped flowing. “Now!” Lotor picked up his fork and began to eat again. He was _taunting_ Lance. Trying to make him give in, but he was _not_ going to give into Lotor’s twisted desires. “What are you?” Lotor asked.

“The Blue―” Lance’s voice turned into a strangled scream.

“Why are you here?” Lotor asked once the current stopped.

Lance started to answer, but he was quickly cut off by the static of electricity filling the air, coupled by Lance’s choked cries.

The longer Lotor grilled Lance with questions, the more that, in some twisted way, Lance wanted to give in. He hadn’t had anything to eat or drink since the day Lotor took him, and Lance wasn’t sure how much time had passed since then. 

He had not been allowed to eat. 

He had not been allowed to drink. 

He had not been allowed to sleep. 

The isolation and sensory deprivation was quickly driving him insane. 

The beatings and the insults were getting into his head. 

Why had he ever thought that someone would come for him?

He wasn’t important to anyone.

No one was going to come for him.

And as much as Lance didn’t want to admit it, maybe what Lotor wanted to give him was some sense of comfort. 

Lotor was beginning to become irritated with Lance.

The questions had drawn on to the point where Lance wouldn’t even reply. Lotor’s eyes were quickly becoming angry, and his words were becoming sharper with each syllable.

Lance had not been allowed to rest his head on the table. All he wanted to do was sleep. He wanted to die, just to end all of this pain.

“What is your  _ name?!”  _

Lance didn’t reply after being asked the question.

But this time, the shock did not come.

Lance was too out of it to realize that Lotor had practically  _ thrown _ his chair across the room, making it clash loudly against the metal wall.

The noise made Lance jump and cry out. 

Again, Lance cried out as Lotor stormed towards him. He threw Lance’s chair on the ground. Because of the chains that bound Lance to the chair, he went crashing down to the ground as well.

Lotor stepped over Lance so that there was a leg on either side of him. Coiled back at the image of Lotor towering over him.

Lotor’s boot came down onto Lance’s left arm, while he pulled the already injured arm in the direction directly opposite from the pressure of his boot.

Arms are not supposed to bend backwards. Bones are supposed to be inside of your body. 

Lance’s were most definitely  _ not. _

He wanted to die. There was  _ so much pain. _

“ _ Pet,”  _ Lance somehow managed to whimper out. “You call me Pet.”

His voice was almost inaudible, but it caught Lotor’s attention enough for him to raise an eyebrow. 

He dropped Lance’s arm, making the small boy cry out in agony. He knelt down by Lance’s face, using one hand to brush Lance’s sweat and blood soaked hair out of his eyes. “What was that?”

Lance wanted to puke, but knew that nothing would come up. “Pet.” He repeated again, louder this time.

Claws moved to curl into Lance’s hair, yanking it upwards. “ _ Louder _ .”

Lance kept repeating the name―his name―louder and louder. Each time his voice sounder more broken and more hopeless. He was absolutely disgusting.

He wanted to cry.

Lotor moved Lance’s so that his limp, nearly lifeless body, was sitting upright against Lotor’s kneeling body. “Say it.” Lance’s head was yanked up again. “Again, so everyone can hear.”

Lance couldn’t see anyone else in the room. His vision was too blurry and his perception was jumbled, but he repeated his name again anyways.

“My name is Pet.”

Lotor scorned at Lance, “What a good Pet.” he nuzzled his face up against Lance’s before throwing him down to the floor by his hair. Lance yelled, his arm moving, again, at an unnatural angle.

“Aren’t humans such fragile playthings?” Lotor chuckled. “I want him well rested, fed, and washed. He smells disgusting.” He shot a glance back to Lance, looking pleased with the fact that he had made his new pet break. 

“Have Haggar tend to his injuries aswell. He’d be even more useless as a corpse. I don’t want my pet to die on me.” With that, Lotor turned, cape catching in the air, and left Lance alone in the room.

Lance let his eyes flutter shut. His body was too exhausted to try and keep them open any more. He was too exhausted to  _ move _ .

He felt like a coward. He was a failure. But if he obeyed he would get water. He would get food. He would get  _ sleep _ . If he obeyed he would be  _ safe _ .

Yet, there still was a nagging feeling that urged him not to give up.

But if he gave up there would be no more pain. No more mockery and torture. He would be  _ safe _ . Lotor  _ wanted him _ here, he couldn’t say that about the places from his past.

Galra soldiers stepped into the room, several motioning to pick up Lance and carry him to wherever Lotor had ordered. But Lance didn’t care. He was so exhausted, and now he could  _ finally _ sleep. He would  _ finally  _ eat. He would  _ finally _ get water. He could  _ finally _ end all of the pain.

By falling asleep, by obeying Lotor, by giving him whatever he wanted, Lance did the one thing that would save him from all of the pain, all of the suffering that he had endured. He did the one thing that he had promised himself that he would  _ never _ do.

He gave up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...  
> I'm not really that sorry.  
> I'll try to get the next chapter out soon!  
> ~Until next time~  
> xx Phoenix


	5. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 11:30 on a school night but it's worth it because all of your lovely comments always make me smile, and also make me what me to write and get these chapters out to you guys faster.  
> Thank you all for your wonderful words and support, and I hope you enjoy the chapter!  
> xx Phoenix  
> ig/yt/tumblr: @thespasticphoenix

Shiro was ready to come out of the healing pod five days later.

Keith had spend those last five days trying find _some way_ to pick up the pieces of their broken team.

Everyone was in a silent panic. They’d all been sitting around, waiting for nearly a week and now Shiro was _finally_ going to be out of the pod. They finally might be able to get some answers as to where Lance might be.

As much as everyone was excited that Shiro was going to be physically fine, Keith knew that getting captured by the Galra and tortured for a _second_ time wouldn’t be kind on Shiro’s mind.

It made Keith wonder about what hell Lance was being put through right now. It made him want to scream and punch everything.

Allura had tasked Keith with finding Pidge. But when Keith went to the Green Lion’s hanger, Pidge wasn’t there. All of the electronics sat untouched, but still hot to the touch while several programs ran. Each one was tasked with jobs that ranged from facial recognition software to an algorithm that was trying to hack into the Galra’s main ship. But Pidge was missing.

Keith had gone every place he could think of. But as a last resort, he figured he might try to check the Training Deck. Much to his surprise, Pidge _was_ there, bayard in hand.

“Start training level four!” Pidge’s voice called out as the doors slid shut behind Keith.

One of the Training Bots instantly started to attack Pidge. Droplets of sweat were rolling down her face. Her breath was rapid and Keith could _visibly_ see her arms shaking from across the room.

Keith had gone through this level before, and even _he’d_ struggled through it. Not that Pidge _couldn’t_ handle it, but she looked like she was about to collapse.

“End training sequence!” Keith shouted, he rushed towards where Pidge stood, narrowly missing the Green Bayard that was chucked at his head.

“I had it under control Keith!” Pidge screamed at him, but it looked like she was about to collapse.

“No you didn’t.” Keith stopped in front of her. The color was draining from her face, so Keith pulled her to one of the benches on the edge of the outer edge of the room.“What are you trying to do? You could’ve hurt yourself!”

“I wasn’t trying to.” Pidge sniffled, wiping her nose with her sleeve. She looked like she was about to cry. “I’m just so tired of losing _everyone!”_

“I’ve lost my brother _and_ my dad,” she made an attempt to calm herself down and breath, but she choked on her tears. “Now Lance is gone and I… I don’t want to be weak anymore. I thought that maybe if I could be _stronger,_ then maybe I could protect them. Maybe I could _save them_.”

Pidge burst into tears and it broke Keith’s heart.

Keith wrapped his arms around Pidge and she clutched to his jacket and sobbed. He didn’t say anything, just let her cry.

He wanted to be stronger too.

Keith had failed, as a leader. It was obvious by the fact that everyone had been _so close_ to giving up on finding Shiro. They hadn’t even _found_ Shiro. The Galra had brought Shiro to them and then Keith had let Lance go with him.

What kind of leader, what kind of _person_ would let the person who had been there for him, supported him when he felt like giving up, had literally kept him from _falling apart,_ just _leave_ . He was probably going through unimaginable torture just because Keith had _failed_ as a leader.

“Lance is a stupid idiot, but he’s my _friend!_ ” Pidge said finally. Her voice was muffled from Keith’s chest. “I just _miss his stupid face!_ Nobody has been acting right since he left. Everyone’s upset all the time, and I don’t know the last time Hunk _smiled_ . I mean―it’s _Hunk_!”

“I miss his stupid face too.” Keith mumbled into Pidge’s head. “But he’s strong. He’s not going to give up. He’ll keep holding on until we find him.”

At this point, Keith was probably trying to convince himself that Lance would be alright, more than he was trying to convince Pidge.

“Do you really think we’re going to get him back?”

“We will. I promise.”  They couldn’t give up on Lance. He had never given up on them. “Now let’s go talk to Shiro.

Keith and Pidge missed the moment when Shiro was released from the healing pod.

Hunk shot Keith a look of concern when Pidge ran over to shove her face into his chest. Keith gently shook his head as Hunk wrapped his arms around Pidge’s smaller body.

Shiro was sitting in a chair between Coran and Allura. He still looked sickly pale, but looked so much better than the night that Lance had been taken.

“So he took Lance?” Shiro questioned. His voice was quiet, probably trying to comprehend everything that had happened during the time that he was missing.

“Yeah.” Keith’s arms crossed over his chest. “Who was the Galra that took him?” Keith felt bad for instantly bombarding Shiro with questions, especially after going through everything that he did, but now Lance was gone.  More than anything, Keith wanted him back. He wanted everyone to be together again.

Shiro set an empty water glass down on a nearby table. He leaned his elbows on his knees, almost appearing to regain his breath before he spoke. “His name is Prince Lotor. He’s Zarkon’s heir.”

Keith just about choked. He could hear Allura’s gasp, her mouth hung open in pure shock. Pidge popped her head back, pulling away from Hunk’s hug.

“So that means that someone…” Everyone knew what Hunk meant, and they all would’ve laughed if things were under different circumstances.

“But what does he want with Lance?” Pidge sniffled, rubbing her tear stained eyes. “No offence Shiro, but if I were evil and trying to take over the universe, I’d much rather have the leader of my enemies than…”

Keith’s heart stung, recalling the words that Lance had said the night that Lotor had taken him.

_“They need you Shiro,”_

Did this mean that Lance didn’t think that they needed him? Is that why he had turned himself over? God _damnit_ they needed Lance. And if anyone thought otherwise, then they were dead wrong.

Shiro took a long, drawn out breath before replying. “He… Lotor said that he… _wanted_ Lance.”

Keith wanted to vomit.

“He kept asking me about Lance,” Shiro did not make eye contact with anyone. “His hobbies, his friend, family, strengths, weaknesses. He wanted _every_ detail of his life―of who he was.”

Bile threatened to come up from Keith’s stomach.

“I tried not to.” Shiro was starting to break down, but he did not cry. He would not let himself cry in front of everybody. “But he… I just _couldn’t_.”  
Allura placed a reassuring squeeze on Shiro’s shoulder, gently telling him that he shouldn’t blame himself for anything. No one was going to blame him.

“That’s sick.” Hunk’s voice was broken, emotionless. “What kind of sick person would do that? What is going to happen to Lance?”

Keith couldn’t think straight.

Voices called after him as his feet walked away from the group, leaving the Medical Bay. What _was_ going to happen to Lance?

From Shiro’s information, Lotor hadn’t wanted Lance because he wanted to keep the team separated or prevent them from trying to stop the Galra empire from growing. He just wanted Lance as some sort of _plaything_.

Coran had focused all of his time into repairing the castle. What was once rubble were now walls again, and the hallway where Lance and Keith’s rooms where looked like Lotor had never destroyed it at all.

Lance’s room was a mirrored image of Keith’s own. The room felt so _empty_ without Lance.

Keith could not count the number of times where he would appear outside of Lance’s room in the dead of night. Whenever he felt too overwhelmed, or felt like his world was collapsing around him, Lance had always been there to help Keith. Even if the two of them were sitting on separate ends of the bed, Keith just found comfort in being around Lance.

Now the room just felt cold and empty.

Keith found himself sitting on Lance’s bed. His fingers grasped at the sheets like some sort of a lifeline, like he was trying to find some obscure way to ground himself back to reality.

Eventually, Keith had fallen onto the bed, gripping at Lance’s pillow in order to keep himself from screaming. Everything smelt like Lance.

He cried because everything felt so empty without Lance.

They weren’t a team without him. No one was okay without him. What Lance had said the night lotor took him broke Keith’s _fucking_ heart. He was not okay. _None_ of them were okay without Lance. They _needed_ Lance.

_He needed Lance._

After an undetermined amount of time, Allura’s voice shouted at Keith through the intercom.

“Come to the Bridge _now_ .” she demanded.There were no sirens, but whatever was happening was going to be _extremely_ distressing. “You’re going to want to see this. It’s―”

Keith didn’t need to hear any more.

He sprinted from Lance’s room towards the Bridge. Something was _not_ right. He could hear shrieking voices arguing from all the way down the hall.

“What’s going―” Keith froze when he entered the Bridge.

The same image had been plastered onto every screen of the Bridge. It was like a virus had infected the castle’s systems and had replaced every screen with the same image. An image that made Keith’s chest tighten and his head spin.

It was Lance.

But at the same time, it wasn’t _Lance_.

Before anyone could say anything, Keith doubled over, and vomited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe... what do you guys think the picture is?  
> (I'm currently smiling evily behind my computer)  
> I'll get the next chapter out as soon as possible!  
> ~Until next time~  
> Phoenix


	6. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So of course as I'm about to post this, I get called down for dinner -_-  
> But anyway! New chapter yay!!!!  
> It was really awesome to wake up to 18 new comments this morning, and today this story broke 2000 hits! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!  
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy!!  
> ig/yt/tumblr: @thespasticphoenix

Keith’s head hurt.

The aftertaste of puke still hung in his mouth. His stomach still churned and his body trembled. This  _ couldn’t _ be real.

This image would haunt Keith for the rest of his life.

Lance’s face was in full view of the camera, but his eyes were blank and focused on nothing. His face expressionless and he looked like he was going to cry, but there were no tears on his face. This was not the Lance that Keith knew. This Lance was so  _ broken _ .

What disturbed Lance the most was the bloodied bone that stuck out of Lance’s arm.

Keith had wanted to know for so long that Lance was alright, that he was  _ alive _ . But this was too much for him.

Pidge had managed to get the image off of every screen by the time Keith had finished puking. Yet, the image would not leave Keith’s mind.

He could not imagine the pain Lance was going through right now, what Lotor was putting Lance through. It physically  _ pained _ Keith to know what Lance was being forced into. 

Hunk looked pale. Keith couldn’t imagine what he was feeling right now. His  _ best friend _ was being tormented by an absolute  _ psycho _ . And sending this picture was just rubbing salt into the wound.

“We need to get Lance back.” Hunk’s expression was stone cold and  _ fuming.  _ “I’m not going to sit around and do  _ nothing _ anymore! I’m going to go after my  _ best friend _ because I can’t just wait here while he’s  _ tortured! _ ” the rest of the room was silent. “I’m  _ going _ to go after Lance, and none of you are going to be able to stop me.”

“We aren’t going to stop you, Hunk.” Shiro was starting to look like his normal self again. He was back in his regular clothes, but his expression remained solem. “You’re right, that we can’t wait around anymore. We  _ need _ to go after Lance.”

As if a switch had flipped in everyone, the room was filled with movement all at once. Allura started directing people with different tasks, please taking control of the situation. 

“Keith?” Shiro asked. Keith looked up from his shoes to see Shiro motioning for Keith to follow him.

“Are you alright?” Shiro asked.

That was a loaded question.

“Of  _ course _ I’m not alright! Lance is being  _ tortured _ , the entire team is falling  _ apart _ without him!”

“But are _ you _ okay?”

Keith was silent, his voice cracking when he finally spoke. “No.” he gritted his teeth in order to keep from crying. “I was the one who  _ let _ him go. After  _ everything _ that he’s done for me, I just―I just  _ miss _ him Shiro.”

Keith couldn’t say anymore. He didn’t have to say anymore, Shiro just placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I know. We’re going to get him back.”

Keith was just so  _ tired _ of feeling like he was  _ useless _ to keep Lance safe. “Good. And I have a few things I want to tell  _ Prince Lotor. _ ”

Keith was going to kick his ass.

* * *

 

He was numb.

Jets of streaming icy cold water his his bare back. The force of the water knocked him slightly forward, but he still managed to keep himself upright, which was more than he could’ve said about the past several days.

His arm had been healed, but there still was a throbbing that would persist constantly. The torture sessions, the games of answering correctly, had continued until he didn’t hurt anymore. Until he learned the correct answers. Until he obeyed.

The water was shut off, leaving him alone in the frigid air. Water dripped from his body and into the grate below him. He tried to hold in any of the heat left in his body that he could, but the air in the room was absolutely  _ bone-chilling. _

He was dragged, still naked, into a smaller room where racks of clothing lined each wall. The soldiers, as per usual, grabbed the outfit that Lotor had chosen for him, and roughly shoved it over head head, forcing it down his body. 

Even with the clothes on, he still felt exposed.

The outfit could barely be considered an outfit. It was basically strips of fabric that had been tied to look like some sort of a dress. It tied behind his hic neck, then came down to make an X across his chest, and then wrapping around again into a skirt that barely covered to the upper part of his legs. It all just felt  _ wrong _ .

But his opinion didn’t matter anymore.

He was escorted to another room after he was dressed. He was allowed to walk on his own now, without the aid of the soldiers, but they still stayed within arms reach if he decided he wanted to bolt. 

But he would not run.

He would be punished if he ran. 

If he complied with Lotor’s wishes, he would be rewarded. He would be allowed food, and water, and sleep. If he obeyed he wouldn’t have to be in pain. 

He had come to know Lotor’s harem room very well. It was one of the few places where he wasn’t under the guard’s direct supervision. He was free to walk about on his own within the room and there were no rough hands that touched him.

Most of the time, he sat on a cushioned window seat that looked out on the raging black ocean of space. Hardly anything about it ever changed. It remained constant. Stationary. 

It made his chest feel empty.

As always, a pair of hands curled around his waist. The fingers were warm against the bare section of his waist that was left uncovered by what little cloth  _ did _ cover him.

He did not move.

He did not jerk away from Lotor’s touch anymore. He had learned that there were consequences to rejecting his touch.

He did not want to feel the pain anymore.

“You look so beautiful for me, Pet,” Lotor’s wondering hands maneuvered him so he was in Lotor's lap, back pressed up against his chest. “You look so much  _ prettier _ than you did when you were with  _ Voltron _ .”

He shuttered at the name. 

Through the copious amounts of torture and pain he had gone through, he had learned that Voltron was  _ bad.  _ Every time he had claimed that he was a part of it, there had been pain.  _ So much pain. _ He could have never been a part of something that had caused him so much hurt.

“They would not let you show yourself off,” Lotor continued, his face nuzzling up to his pet’s. And still, he would not move. “They made you feel  _ unworthy _ .  They  _ lied _ to you. They were  _ wrong.  _ But would I do that to you Pet?”

His expression did not change. “No.”

“Very  _ good _ Pet!” Lotor praised, giving him a squeeze on his hip. “I will love you, and keep you  _ safe.  _ I will make you feel  _ wanted _ .”

He did feel wanted.

“What did your  _ friends _ do to you?”

Instantly, he went into a list of automatic replies to Lotor’s questions. He gave the answers that would make him happy. The answers that would not give him pain.

“They abandoned me.” he replied in a near robot voice.

“Where they even  _ really _ your friends?”

“No.”

“Did they deserve you?”   


“No.”

“Did they appreciate you?”

“No.”

“Did they find you worthless?”

“Yes.”   


“Did they hurt you?”

“Yes.”   


“Will  _ I  _ hurt you?”

“Never.”

Silent tears fell from his eyes. He didn’t know why. He shouldn’t be crying. He would be punished if he continued to cry.

Much to his surprise, Lotor just shushed him lovingly. “No, don’t cry my Pet!” he turned him around to face him, using his thumbs to wipe away the tears. Lotor’s claws caught on his skin, but he did not react.

“You shouldn’t be crying  _ now!  _ They can’t hurt you anymore, they can’t get to you here!”

“They can’t get me here,” he repeated. “I am safe.”

“And who keeps you safe?” Lotor questioned.

“You do.”

Lotor smiled at the response. Instead of speaking, Lotor leaned forward and kissed him.

The kiss traveled quickly from his lips, down to his neck. But he did not reject the touch. He reacted on the instinct that he had been conditioned to respond with. 

He no longer feared Lotor’s touch. This was evident by the collection of bursted blood vessels that littered his skin. 

He felt compelled to apologize for his past. For the things that he had done wrong. The terrible people that he had associated himself with. The people who he had once called his friends were  _ wrong _ . Who he was in the past was  _ corrupt _ . 

The disgusting, horrible, terrible person that he had been in the past was dead, but still he cried.

Lotor’s hands had begun to travel further down, but still he did not move. He did not react. Lotor would not lie to him. He would make him feel loved. He would keep him safe.

That is until the entire room shook, throwing him off of Lotor’s lap. He crashed  _ hard _ on the ground, head knocking against the floor, but even still, he did not move.

A pair of hands shifted him until he could sit upright, then lifted him until his feet no longer touched the floor. He felt small in Lotor’s arms, absolutely tiny and miniscule, but it was more of an encompassing sense of security versus a dominating presence.

He could feel the thudding of footsteps as Lotor walked. He could not hear what was being said around him. He was with Lotor. He was safe.

He did not know where they were going, but understood Lotor when he whispered to him that he was going to be kept in a safe place.

Safe. He wanted to be safe.

But then Lotor stopped in the middle of a stride. He felt Lotor’s grip tighten on his body, and he attempted to look up. 

But when he did, his sense of protection was all but shattered. He squirmed, whimpering in Lotor’s arms. He needed to get  _ away. _ He was not  _ safe.  _ He was going to be in  _ pain. They _ were going to cause him  _ pain! _

He could not get away from the pain, and so he screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aweeeee poor Lance (but really, I'm not that sorry. I mean, I love the babe, but this is just the way it goes)  
> Did anyone notice that I didn't use Lance's name even /once/ during his part of the chapter? What do y'all think of Lotor? *wiggily eyebrows*  
> Fun fact: I listen to the Heathers Musical soundtrack while writing this, and I've incorporated/will incorporate parts of the emotions tied to some of the songs into the story. *hint hint. it's not like I've picked out certain songs for certain characters or anything shhh*  
> But hope you enjoyed, and I'll post the next chapter as soon as I can!  
> ~Until next time~  
> Phoenix


	7. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this wasn't up earlier. I had kinda a rough evening so I'm tired, but I really wanted to get this out to you guys (hey it's 11:52, but it's still Wednesday)  
> Anyway, hope you guys have bucked the fuck up because this chapter is gunna be rough

They had tracked down every possible Galra ship sighting until they had found the location of the main fleet.

Keith was in a constant state of rage.

He was restless and uneasy as they neared the gigantic Galra ship. It loomed over the lions menacingly, giving off an unwelcoming, deadly aura.

At this point, the plan was that Pidge and Keith were going to be the only ones actually on the inside of the ship retrieving Lance. With Keith’s Galra heritage and Pidge’s technological expertise, everyone had agreed that they would be the most efficient in getting Lance, and getting out of there as soon as possible. They all hoped that the added surprise of  _ them _ attacking first would give them another advantage

Everyone was on edge. 

They were  _ finally _ going to get Lance back. Keith’s heart pounded in his chest and in his ears. He had no  _ idea _ what they were going to find. 

The fear of what might occur was still rooted deep in his chest, that they were going to be too late. That maybe something would go wrong and Lance would end up hore damaged than he probably already was. But Keith also felt hopeful. Hopeful that they were going to finally get Lance back. Hopeful that the damage done to him hadn’t been to great.

Either way, they  _ were _ going to get Lance back.

Heavy gunfire fell on the Black Lion. Rattling the interior enough that Keith had to grip tightly to the back of Shiro’s chair. 

Sitting in that chair had never felt  _ right _ to Keith. Like he didn’t  _ belong _ . He felt better now that Shiro was back, but  _ still _ ―nothing felt right with Lance gone. Lance was right when he said that they needed Shiro, but they needed Lance too.

“You both need to be quick,” Shiro grunted, avoiding new rounds of gunfire. “Get Lance, and get out as soon as you possibly can. And Keith?” 

Shiro’s eyes were still focused on the space in front of him, but the corner of his lips were pulled into a small smirk. “Kick Lotor’s ass for me.”  
And with that, Keith and Pidge left Shiro’s lion, and entered the Galra ship though a new door that had been blown into the side of the ship―courtesy to Hunk.

“Take a left!” Pidge called up to Keith as they neared an intersection. They both slid across the floor, not bothering to slow down, and continued to sprint deeper into the ship. It took them a few wrong turns, but they finally managed to get to one of the main control rooms. 

The high adrenaline, paired with the sheer weight of the mission, made for quick work of the Galran soldiers that stood in their way.

“We’re practically  _ dinosaurs _ compared to them when it comes to tech,” Pidge grumbled, typing frantically.

Dread ran through Keith’s body. “You’re still going to be able to find Lance right?”  
“I’m still capable of finding where he is,” she snapped back. “I just can’t find his name associated with any of the rooms on the map.” Keith could hear the irritation in her voice. They’d come so far, they hadn’t come here to just _leave_ without Lance.

“I go out and see if I can find him,” Keith turned back towards the door leading back towards the ship's endless hallways. He could hear Shiro and Allura protesting in his ear, but Pidge and Hunk were silent. 

They wanted Lance back as much as―if not more than Keith. They were the closest to him. He  _ had _ to find Lance. If not for himself, it was for them. 

Keith gripped his bayard tight in his hand as he ran up and down the hallways. He attempted to keep away from any guards that might be roaming the hallways, but either way, they didn’t impose a large threat, considering that he was in a  _ rage. _

Eventually, Keith came to a hallway and stopped. There was shouting off in a distance, but it was close enough that he could comprehend the urgency of what was being said. The snap of orders and the thudding of heavy footsteps. 

He took off in the direction of the noise.

Pidge had yet to locate Lance. And if Lance wasn’t there, he was going to  _ force _ someone to tell him where Lance was.

The clicking of boots neared Keith, who readied his bayard. But it nearly fell out of his hands as he saw the figures that came down the hall in the opposite direction of him. His eyes widened, and he skidded to a stop.

Lance looked like absolute  _ hell _ .

Keith could see every single one of his ribs. The muscle that Lance had was just  _ gone _ , leaving a limp body that Keith would’ve sworn was thinner than Pidge’s. What sickened him even more was what, he assumed, Lotor had dressed Lance in. The porn-star looking outfit further showed off the fact that Lance had thinned out into a twig. 

Lance  _ trembled _ in Lotor’s arms. When his head managed to look up at Keith, he sunken in eyes appeared to be glazed over. It looked like Lotor had pumped Lance with some kind of drug.

Keith was going to  _ slaughter _ Lotor.

But then, much to Keith’s surprise, Lance  _ screamed.  _ It was absolutely  _ haunting. _

Lance sounded like someone had just impaled him with a dull object,  _ slowly.  _ He struggled in Lotor’s arms, the shaking of his body intensified, and he looked like he was going to cry. Sounds escaped his mouth, but they did not form words.

Keith wanted to reach out to him. He wanted to murder Lotor, and then just  _ hold _ Lance. He wanted to wrap him in a blanket and promise that this would never happen to him again. But Keith was absolutely  _ frozen. _

Lance managed to tumble from Lotor’s arms, but his clawed hand still gripped Lance’s shoulder, eliciting a yelp from Lance.

Lotor snapped something at Lance, but it was too low for Keith to hear. Lance froze, body still quivering, but he nodded, saying something in reply. He then reached over, grabbing something from Lotor’s belt before running back the direction that he’d come.

Keith was going to scream.

_ “What did you do to him?!”  _

That was not Lance. Whatever Lotor had done to him was sick and twisted. It made Keith want to puke. It broke Keith’s heart. They’d come this far to save him, but Lotor had  _ changed  _ him. Lance had looked so  _ empty _ . It terrified him.

Lotor locked eyes with Keith, grinning widely. He reached back, drawing a glowing sword and positioning himself in a battle stance.

“I simply taught him the truth, Red Paladin.” Lotor laughed.

* * *

 

Fuck this. He could not threaten them. He could not taunt them. He could  _ not  _ hurt Lance. Keith would rather die trying to take him down then let him break this team apart any more.

Keith launched himself at Lotor.

Lotor asked Lance to say the one phrase that he had repeated over and  _ over _ to him above anything else.

_ Our love is  _ God.

Then he had taken Lance’s hand and slid it around his belt until his fingers were forced around the blaster that sat at Lotor’s hip. He told Lance to go to the hangar where his personal ship was kept, and that he would take care of the Red Paladin while he waited there for him.

He would make all of the pain go away. And then they would  _ leave _ .

He clutched the gun tightly to his chest as he ran back down the dimly lit hallways. His bare feet were raw and he had no clear indication of whether he was going in the correct direction or not, but he ran anyways.

If they were here, it meant that he was going to be in pain  _ again _ . 

He did not want to hurt anymore

By the time he found the hanger, the rooms and hallways had begun to sway.

There was a solitary corner where he backed up to the wall, and slid to the floor. He was out of direct sight of the door. No one would find him unless they actually came inside.

He couldn’t  _ breathe _ .

His chest rose and fell rapidly, in an uneven pace. As much as he tried to calm himself down, his chest still ached and his head squeezed in on itself. His heart was palpitating and his mouth had gone dry.

Before too long, footsteps echoed in the mostly empty hanger. Lance’s anxiety skyrocketed again, his body going stiff. He clutched the blaster even tighter in his already white knuckles.

“Lance?” A voice called out. “Lance are you in here?”

Pain. There was so much pain. They were going to make him  _ hurt _ .

“Lance!” the voice got closer. Inside, he was  _ screaming _ . 

They were going to  _ hurt him _ . 

They didn’t care about him. 

He was absolutely  _ worthless _ to them.

_ They hurt him _ .

A hand touched his shoulder, words rapidly spilling from their mouth. His head spun. Another hand was on top of his, trying to pull the blaster from his grip. He was queasy. They pulled at his fingers. He was in  _ pain _ .

It  _ hurt _ . Lotor wasn’t here to make it  _ stop! _ Everything  _ hurt! _

He would make the pain go away.

The Green Paladin stumbled backwards. Their armor was not strong enough to protect them from the blast.

Their expression was one of shock and hurt. She made a single attempt to speak, but then fell to the ground, crimson blood beginning to leak out of the place where her skin had been destroyed.

There was a ringing in his ears.

He sat there, just staring at the blood as it began to pool on the ground. It was making the pain go away. 

That one couldn’t hurt him any more. 

He was crying. 

Why was he crying?

Lotor glided into the room, cape flaring out behind him as he stopped before the pool of blood. He smiled at his pet.

“Aww Pet,” he bent over in front of him, his thumb wiping splattered blood off of Lance’s face. Lotor guided him to stand, the blaster clattering onto the ground as it slipped from Lance’s grip. “Did they make you cry?”

Lance nodded, violently. “I stopped the pain.”

“You certainly did!” Lotor wrapped part of his cape over the cold skin of Lance’s shoulders. “I’m so proud of you. You did such a good job!”

His heart sung with the praise, but his head still spun and his slipped in the blood as Lotor lead him onto the ramp of his ship.

“Careful now,” he bent down, scooping Lance into his arms. “We don’t you injuring yourself now that you’re safe.”

Safe. They couldn’t get to him if he was safe.

Lance was set down in the copilot’s seat of the cockpit. He curled in on himself, but the other feelings still hung on him like wet clothing. 

They stayed as they exited the hanger

They stayed as they weaved in and out of the battling ships.

And they stayed as a large flash of light engulfed the ship in a disorienting burst of color.

The pain inside of him was still there.

* * *

 

“ _ Pidge!” _

Keith was so  _ stupid _ . 

Lotor had absolutely  _ destroyed _ him. He had used dirty tactics and threats to throw Keith’s focus off of the fight. He had taunted Keith by telling him what he was going to do to Lance. He told Keith about what he’d done to  _ break  _ him and how he would never trust anyone who was associated with Voltron ever again. 

That was when Keith  _ lost it. _

He’d slipped up. He’d let his emotions get the better of him and he  _ lost. _

And now Pidge was injured. 

It was  _ all  _ his fault.

She had  _ found  _ Lance. After searching for him for  _ so long _ they had  _ finally _ found him. They were finally going to bring Lance  _ home _ .

But then they had heard the gunshot.

Pidge had stopped responding to the com link after that. Earlier, she had told the rest of the team that she’d found the hanger where Lotor kept his personal ship, relaying where it was in relation to the rest of the ship.

Keith could not get there fast enough.

His leg had taken a nasty slice during his duel with Lotor. Every step he took  _ burned _ but he  _ needed _ to get to Pidge. 

He sliced down every  _ single _ Galra in his path without remorse. He was absolutely  _ seething. _

First Lotor had driven Lance to the point where he was no longer himself. That alone crossed the  _ fucking _ line. Taunting Keith with it? That was even worse.

Then, Pidge gets _shot_. For all everyone knows, she could be dead right now. They have absolutely _no idea_ if she’s alright. And what would they tell her mom if she didn’t make it back to Earth? How do you tell a mother, who has lost her _entire_ family within a year, that her only daughter was shot by a psychopathic alien?  
And now Lance has slipped _right_ through their fingers, again. Who knew when they would ever track him down again, and who knew what condition he’d be in when they found him again.

When Keith eventually got to the hanger, the first thing that he saw was the single ship that blasted it’s engines, quickly exiting the hangar. There was no doubt in his mind that it was Lotor. He had barely made it here  _ minutes _ before Keith, but  _ still _ , he got away. With Lance

The second thing he saw was the terrifying  _ massive _ pool of blood that surrounded Pidge.

“I found her!” he yelled, kneeling down on the ground. He pressed one hand on the wound, adding pressure, and then used two more fingers to try and find a pulse on her neck.

He gave a sigh of relief. “I found her pulse! But we need to get her into a pod  _ now!”  _

As he waited for Hunk to get to the hanger, Keith’s eyes were drawn to the two sets of bloody footprints that lead away from Pidge. One set of feet wore shoes, while the other was bare.

At least he knew that Lance was  _ alive. _

Keith turned back towards Pidge, remembering what she had told him about wanting to be stronger. If there was anytime for her to be strong, it was  _ now. _

Hunk announced that he was getting closer, but he wasn’t going to be able to get into the tiny hanger, nor would he be able to make a bigger hole in the ship because he wanted to shield them from the large amount of incoming gunfire from the Galra ships.

Keith made sure that both his, and Pidge’s helmets were securely on their faces before jetpacking out of the hanger, and into the vastness of space. Hunk’s lion wasn’t that far away but still Keith felt like he was moving through syrup.

Out of the corner of his eye, Keith noticed a ship that moved opposite from the rest of the Galran fleets. It was smaller than the rest, yet appeared to be much flashier than the standard Galra ships.

Suddenly, it clicked. 

That was the ship that had left the hanger as Keith had arrived. That was  _ Lotor’s _ ship. Which meant that Lance was on there.

Keith frantically called out to Shiro, beginning to tell him that there was still a chance that they could save lance. They could still get him―

But before he could finish his sentence, Lotor’s ship was caught in the middle of a blazing ball of light.

Keith screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am tired. God is dead. I currently in pain and I've taken two sleeping pills but am somehow still awake.  
> Hope you all enjoyed this (or it broke your heart, either way)  
> I'll get the next one up as soon as possible!  
> Feel free to message me on any of my social media if you have theories, or just want to chat because I am bored 98% of the time  
> ~Until next time~  
> Follow me ig/yt/tumblr @thespasticphoenix


	8. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG  
> The chapter is slightly longer, and I was planning on posting it last night, but then I was invited to go eat after watching a musical so I didn't get home till 11:30ish and I was exhausted.  
> I work later today, but I'll write as much as I can so I can get the next chapter out sooner, thank you all for your patience!  
> Come talk to me! Follow me @thespasticphoenix on ig/yt/tumblr!

No one spoke.

They’d gotten Pidge into the pod before there had been any permanent damage to her body, but still, everyone was worried.

Hunk had probably been hit the hardest by the depth of Pidge’s injury. He had disappeared after they’d gotten Pidge into the pod. They hadn’t tried to stop him. His two best friends were either gone and injured. Keith couldn’t imagine how udderly hopeless Hunk must’ve felt right now.

No one wanted to come to terms with what had happened. No one uttered a _word_ about Lance.

He was _gone_.

Keith had _seen_ his ship explode, the same model as the one that had left the hanger just as he’d gotten there to save Pidge. How was it possible, after everything they had done, after all that had happened, it could end like this?

Keith didn’t want to believe that Lance was dead. He refused to. It _couldn’t_ end like this.

As much as everyone avoided the topic, they would eventually need to find someone to pilot the Blue Lion. Keith couldn’t imagine anyone besides Lance in Blue. How the _fuck_ were we supposed to do this without Lance?

Keith felt empty inside.

Over the past two days, he’d spent a majority of his time just lying on Lance’s bed. He couldn’t cry anymore. Shit, he could barely feel anything besides the emptiness insides of his chest anymore.

Lance couldn’t just be _gone_ like that. They weren’t a team without him.

The door to Lance’s room slid open, Hunk standing in the entry. Neither of them spoke. Hunk just walked over, practically falling onto the bed besides Keith as he sat up.

“I keep thinking about his family.” Hunk’s voice was broken, he must’ve been crying before coming into Lance’s room.

“He took me to meet them once,” he continued. “They were so _welcoming_ . They treated me like I was their son too.” Tears began to fall again. “They told me to keep him safe at the Garrison. How am I supposed to go back to Earth and tell them that their son is _dead_ because some psychopathic alien kidnaped and _tortured him?!”_

Keith hadn’t even stopped to think about Lance’s family. They were so isolated out here, and Keith didn’t have any family to go back to, so he hadn’t even _thought_ about how Lance’s family would be reacting.

“You don’t have to do it alone.” Keith didn’t look up, but he heard Hunk’s body turn to look at him. “You don’t have to burden yourself like that.”

The silence returned, only disturbed by Hunk’s quiet sniffles. Keith’s fingers tangled in the sheets, gripping until his knuckles were white. “I just don’t want to believe it,” he whispered. “Like, what if he’s not actually dead? What if somehow he’s alive and still waiting for us to find him?”

“You saw the ship explode. We all did. He couldn’t have survived that.”

“Still―” hot, angry tears began to stream down Keith’s face as he looked up at Hunk. “There’s still the possibility!” His chest tightened and it was hard for Keith to breathe.

“That’s a really big ‘what if’.” Hunk snapped back.

Keith felt a twinge of hurt at Hunk’s sharp words, but understood where it came from. There was no way that Hunk was in a good place right now and it had to be debilitating with  how painful it was.

As dark everything seemed, Keith still had a gut feeling that told him that _couldn’t_ get up yet. Even with as small a possibility that might be.

He stood, leaving Hunk alone in Lance’s cold room. Even if there was close to n o possibility that Lance was still alive, he was absolutely _sick_ of sitting and just waiting for things to happen. Nothing was _ever_ going to happen if he just sat around and did _nothing_.

If Pidge knew that Keith was going to mess with her computers, she would’ve absolutely _murdered_ him.

Even with Pidge not being here, every computer continuously ran the programs that scoured every single piece of data for clues to where Lance, and her missing family was.

Keith figured that there was at least a _chance_ that he could figure out what some of the programs were doing and somehow search for any hints that Lance might be alive.

He sat down at the computer, slightly intimidated by the sure mass of it. Tentatively, he scanned the screen, trying to figure out everything that was happening on the screen.

A round, flashing icon stood out on the lower half of the screen. Keith still had no idea what he was doing, but he clicked it anyway. He scanned the new content on the screen quickly, taking in the words that laid themselves out on the screen.

Keith’s eyes widened, and a new sense of hope filled his gut. An overwhelming excitement that made him want to jump up and cheer.

Lance was _alive_ , and Pidge’s genius proved it.

He brought the information to everyone a few hours later when they’d all gathered to get Pidge out of the healing pod.

Everyone was shocked, Hunk looked like he was going to cry, but not for any bad reasons. Lance was going to be _okay_.

“You _went into my computers?!”_ Even if she’d just been released from the healing pod, Shiro still had to hold Pidge back from slaughtering Keith.

“And you put a tracking beacon on Lotor’s ship?!” Keith held up the mat for everyone to see, showing the yellow line that traced from the last known location of the main Galra fleet, to a new planet. “Why didn’t you tell us? We could’ve used that the past few days!”

“Well I didn’t think to mention it because I freaking _found_ Lance, who then decided to _shoot me_ at point blank range!”

It took a few moment for the reality of what Pidge had just said to sink in. Keith couldn’t find the right words, so it was Allura who asked to confirm if Lance had really been the one to shoot Pidge.

She nodded grimly. “I was so shocked when it happened that it didn’t really register what had happened at first.” She stepped away from Shiro, crossing her arms to hug herself. “Whatever Lotor has done to him _messed him up_. I don’t even think he really recognized me.”

A feeling of dread hung in the air. Keith wanted to rip Lotor to _shreds._ “We can’t let him get away with Lance again.”

Shiro looked to Allura, then looking out on the other three Paladins. “We won’t.”

Almost instantly, they set into action in creating a plan to rescue Lance, this time without anyone getting almost killed. It appeared that Lotor would go between the Galra ship, and the abandoned planet, which made them assume that he was leaving Lance alone on the planet whenever he left―why else would he be going back and forth?  
They tracked the patterns of Lotor’s ship till they found an accurate estimate of when the next time Lotor would leave, and prepared themselves as best they could. There was no guess as to what would happen when they got there. They had no way to know if it was going to be a firefight or if the planet would be completely abandoned.

“Keith?” Hunk caught up to him before he got to his Lion. “You were right―not to give up on Lance, I mean.”

“He never gave up on Shiro,” Keith replied. “He wouldn’t give up on us either.”

“Yeah, but we all thought he was dead,” Hunk almost looked guilty. “You still wouldn’t stop looking for him.”

“It was just a gut feeling,” Keith shrugged. “I just _knew_ that Lance couldn’t be dead.”

“I know, and listen,” Hunk shuffled, almost uncomfortable. “I hate to assume things like this, but you two… I mean―you really like him don’t you?”

Keith hadn’t really thought about it until now, but he realized that Hunk was right. Maybe through everything, over the course of the past few months, he’d started to like Lance.

The moments where Keith felt like everything was ending, where he felt like he was going to explode with how overwhelmed he felt, Lance had _always_ been there to pull him back to the ground him again.

“Yeah,” his voice was low, somewhat teetering on the edge of crying. “I guess so.”  
“He’s good for you,” Hunk nodded. “You’re both good for eachother.”   
Neither of them said anything else. Hunk just gave Keith a small, comforting hug before they both went off to their Lions.

They just _had_ to get Lance back. Keith was willing to risk _everything_ to get Lance back. They were so _close_ to getting him back. Whatever pain and torture Lotor was putting Lance though was going to end here, _today._

Keith would not give up until they did.

* * *

 

There was a beach. The planet was almost entirely a beach, but there was one beach that Lance went to.

The sand was an off-blue color, and the sky made the water look more greenish, but it still made Lance feel like he was somewhere other than here.

He still felt like something was _wrong_ . There was still a sinking feeling that he couldn’t force away―even when Lotor was here, he still felt like something was _wrong_.

He wasn’t allowed outside when Lotor was here. When Lotor was here, Lance was required to be with him, either in his room or at his side.

He would dote on Lance and give him gifts that ranged from clothing to different exotic foods. He wanted his Pet to be happy.

He should be happy.

He wasn’t sure why he wasn’t.

The splashing of the water calmed him, but still the longing in his abdomen still remained.

He was crying.

He couldn’t stop crying.

* * *

 

The planet had very little land, and paired with Pidge’s tracker, it seemed almost too easy to locate the Galra base. It made Keith feel uneasy with how simple it all seemed.

“Keith I don’t want you going down there.” Shiro’s voice snapped as they neared the planets.

“ _What?!_ ” Keith’s grip on the control tightened. “Shiro, you can’t just tell―”

“This is an _order Keith_.” Shiro’s voice snapped over the coms again. “You’re too high-strung right now, you get sloppy when you’re upset and we can’t risk it.”

Keith tried to protest, but Shiro shut him down again, telling him and the others to stay behind in case there happened to be some incoming Galra. It made Keith uneasy that Shiro was going on his own to get Lance.

“Do you see him yet?” Keith asked impatiently as soon as Shiro touched on the ground.

Shiro replied by saying Keith’s name as a warning.

Keith muted himself rom the rest of the the group and swore in frustration. Shiro should’ve let all of them go. The longer it took for him to find Lance and get him out of there, the more likely it was that Lotor or some other Galra were going to come back.

There was no idle chatter as they waited. Pidge was monitoring the tracking beacon, but still, Keith didn’t want to risk losing Lance _again_. He didn’t think he could handle it.

“I got him!” Shiro said after a silence that felt much too long. He sounded like he was struggling and out of breath.

“Is he alright?!” Hunk yelled.

“He’s―” there were more sounds of struggling. “Lance you need to _calm down!_ ”

“I’m not _Lance!_ ” he shouted in a broken sob. “Let me _go!”_

Keith couldn’t find to express everything he was feeling right now. His hands shook as he muted the coms. That _wasn’t_ Lance. As happy as he was that they _finally_ had him back, Lotor had _destroyed_ who Lance had been. Keith hadn’t fully thought about what the real implications of what Lotor had forced Lance through had been.

Who Shiro had brought back _wasn’t_ Lance, and now Keith wasn’t entirely sure they would _ever_ really have Lance back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they have Lance back now....... but is it really Lance O_O  
> Kinda a filler chapter, I know (and I'm sorry) but now things are going to get /really/ real  
> ~Until next time lovelies~  
> Phoenix


	9. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got my Lotor wig today, sprayed my face purple, and was only able to take one picture before my mom got home

 

Once Lance was taken by Shiro, he used a sedative to stop Lance from screaming at him, knocking him out, his entire body limp and deadlike.

“What happened?!” Keith shouted as Shiro exited his lion. Lance hung from his arms like a doll, which made a dozen alarms go off in Keith’s head. “Is he alright?!”

“He’s fine.” SHiro brushed passed Keith. “But he wouldn’t calm down once I got him in the lion, so I needed to―”

“You  _ knocked him out?! _ ”

Shiro began to look annoyed with Keith. “You need to calm down, he’s going to be―”

“We all heard him Shiro,” hunk interjected. “He doesn’t even know how own name anymore.”

“Most brainwashing techniques only have temporary results,” Pidge offered. “Without constant reinforcement, the effect usually just… fade.” There was a spark in her eye, a renewed hope that they could find her family now that they had Lance.

Keith wished that he could feel the same.

“What after what Lotor did to him?” Hunk shrugged. “This isn’t your normal,  _ human _ cult brainwashing.”

Keith couldn’t find the words to speak. On one hand, Lance was  _ finally  _ back. After constant, endless searching the universe, he was  _ finally _ away from Lotor, and the horrendous torture that he’d brought down on Lance.

On the other hand, it  _ wasn’t  _ Lance. Whatever Lotor had done to him had  _ seriously _ messed him up. Messed up to the point where Lance didn’t know who he was anymore.

Even if everything had worked out perfectly, even if they’d gotten Lance without anyone getting injured or killed, it all felt too  _ easy.  _ There was absolutely no way that, just because they had Lance back, everything was going to revert back to normal.

No. Things were not  _ fine _ . Things were not going to be  _ normal _ now that Lance was back. 

Keith feared that the worst was still yet to come.

* * *

 

The destruction that came from Lotor’s wrath was truly terrifying.

The two guards that had been stationed to watch over his pet had been knocked out, laying useless on the ground when he had arrived. Now, they were the central victims of Lotor’s abuse. 

They had  _ stolen _ his Pet from him. He would not let them get away with it without facing the consequences. 

Haggar had attempted to calm the Prince down. She reasoned that the former Blue Paladin had been distracting Lotor from the larger goals that were at hand. With the Paladin’s new focus being on restoring the Blue Paladin to his former self, they would be more vulnerable to any sort of attack. 

“I don’t  _ care _ about!” Lotor yelled, kicking at one of the still untouched tables in the small room. “Where is he?! Can you track him?!”

“You were the one who was against tagging him in the first place.” Haggar snapped back. “Going after him now would be fool―”

“That doesn’t  _ matter _ , Haggar. I want every available resource be used into finding him.”

“Sire, that would not be―”

“Conquering the universe was my  _ father’s  _ desire.” Lotor’s fist clenched. “Taming the Blue Paladin is my  _ own _ wish. Which I will put before my father’s ambitions.”

He was becoming increasingly annoyed with the witch’s constant nagging. Constant since his childhood, throughout the teachings from the Druids. She had been an tiresome voice that gave Lotor a scratching feeling inside his head, an  _ urge _ to rid himself of the old witch. Even after his father’s death, she still felt as though she was above him.

“I will find him.” he ignored Haggar, rage burning in his ears. “I will find him if I have to burn down the whole of the Universe.”

* * *

 

His body shook, even after he was removed from the restoration pod.

Someone had tried to touch him, to try and guide him towards a chair, but he had yelled. Their touch  _ burned _ . 

He wanted it to stop. 

The pain was too much.

He couldn’t make it stop.

“Okay,” the hands released him into the chair. “It’s alright Lance, I won’t touch you”  
His skin still burned.

The Black Paladin stepped away from him. Every person that stood in the room made his skin crawl. Both Alteans stood in front of him, along with three of the Paladins. The Red Paladin was the one that was missing.

“Lance, we’re not going to―”

He panicked. It was going to hurt. “My name is not Lance.”

He heard reactions from the people around him, but his head did not comprehend what it meant. 

The Black Paladin paused before speaking again. “Lance, Loto made you believe that you weren’t yourself. He made you believe things that aren’t true. Do you remember that Lance?”

“Don’t call me that.” his body was consumed with a growing pain that happened whenever Lotor had talked about Voltron. 

They were  _ bad _ .

They were going to  _ hurt him _ .

“He called me Pet.” the sharp pain dulled momentarily. “That’s what he called me.”

“Lance, don’t you remember?” the Yellow Paladin spoke rapidly, stepping forward. “Earth? The Garrison? Finding Shiro and forming Voltron?”

“ _ No!”  _ he screeched, attempting to jump out of the chair. He didn’t get far before the Black Paladin gripped his arms, holding him to the chair. “It  _ hurts! _ You’re going to  _ hurt me!” _

“We’re not going to hurt you Lance!” the Princess reached out. She wanted to  _ kill  _ him.

“Do not  _ touch me! _ ” Tears began to fall down his face as his cries turned into half-screams, half-sobs. He struggled against the Black Paladin’s grip. His heart rattle din his chest and his breath came in quick, uneven breaths.

“Get  _ away _ from me! I need to get out of here―I need to go back!” his head shook violently as more hands reached for him. “I don’t want to be her! Lotor―Lotor can make it  _ stop! _ He can make the pain  _ stop! _ He―”

The hands that had made their way onto his neck were not welcome, but he could not stop them as there was a sharp prick in the side of his neck.

His breath hitched. Even though his vision swung, tears blinded his eyes and his lips trembled. Everything  _ hurt _ .

And then everything went black.

Keith hadn’t been there when they had brought Lance out of the pod. He just  _ couldn’t _ .

What had Lance had said while Shiro had rescued him… Keith couldn’t think about it without wanting to scream. Everyone had understood, and they didn’t push Keith to be there.

He hadn’t moved since Shiro had come to tell him that Lance was ready to come out.

He hadn’t stopped crying.

Eventually, Shiro had come back to Keith’s room to tell him everything that had happened. It fucking  _ broke _ Keith’s heart. 

“How could he―” Keith stumbled over his words, unable to find the right words to say. “Did he just forget  _ everything _ that’s ever happened to him?”

“He was there for  _ weeks _ , Keith. What Lotor did to him… it’s going to take time for him to get back to normal again.” 

“Is he  _ ever _ going to be normal again?!” Keith snapped back. “We know that he was tortured, but we don’t know what Lotor  _ did  _ to him! What the  _ fuck _ possibly happened that made him like this?! We’re not therapists Shiro, how are we ever going to get Lance back to  _ normal?! _ ”

“I never said it was going to be easy―and it won’t. Getting him back _here_ was the easy part.”  
“Pidge almost got killed trying to get him. 

“I know,” Shiro said grimly. A hand squeezing his shoulder in reassurance. “But he needs all of us to be strong―he needs you.”

Keith felt helpless, but he knew that Shiro was right. Lance couldn’t be strong right now, he was so incredibly broken that Keith didn’t know where to start to try and fix him. Lotor had  _ tortured _ Lance until the point of forgetting who he was.

He would find some way to fix him.

Keith  _ had _ to strong him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor bb Keith, fixing Lance isn't going to be /that/ easy  
> I'm already halfway(ish) done writing the next chapter, so there is a possibility that it could be up tonight (no promises though) but OH MY SHIT THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL B R E A K EVERYONE  
> ~Until next time lovelies~  
> Phoenix  
> talk to me on my social media! ig/yt/tumblr: @thespasticphoenix


	10. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is up so late, I closed late at work and then I had to do some stupid chemistry stuff. (And after I post this I have to go study for my ACT that is NEXT WEEK. rip me)  
> But ANYWAY! If y'all are interested, I livestream on my Instagram almost every Thursday (bc I'm home alone and have no friends that live near me) and I honestly babble for WAY TO LONG, but if any of you wanted, I could talk more about the fic or just fandom/cosplay things in general!   
> And feel free to message me anytime because I am just a smol bean who likes to talk to people!  
> ig/yt/tumblr: @thespasticphoenix  
> ENJOY THE CHAPTER!!!

They kept him in a room that had a window that looked into space.

He felt isolated, which was beginning to drive him insane again. The Black Paladin would come down and talk to him bringing him food and new clothes to replace the ones that Lotor had given him.

The clothes burned and itched on his body. They covered most of his skin, which felt foreign and wrong, so he had refused to wear the jacket, but wore the shirt only because of how cold he got.

He didn’t want to see anyone.

He didn’t want to eat, in order to spite them. But he did anyway to keep the pain of hunger away. 

No one touched him.

He kept crying and he wasn’t sure why.

“Lance?” Shiro spoke softly as he entered the room. 

He didn’t move, didn’t turn to face the Black Paladin. His head remained against the wall, eyes out of focus as he stared blankly at the stone. His thumb was scratching up and down the stone, a constant motion that kept him somewhat sane.

“Lance,” he had learned that the name itself did not hurt them, but like Lotor had told him, it was the Paladins  _ themselves _ . 

Was that really his name? 

He wasn’t sure anymore. 

He wasn’t sure of anything.

“Keith came here to see you.”

The scratching stopped.  _ That _ name shot a pain through his body that made his muscles clench. “Go away.” he managed to call out.

He could the shuffling of feet, and stirn voices. The noise continued until the door clicked shut, and the mechanisms inside locked into place. There were more footsteps, stopping when they reached the bed. Everything shifted when the body sat down.

Everything was silent.

“I…” the Red Paladin,―Keith, Shiro had said―spoke softly. “I don’t know what you went through. I don’t know what Lot― _he_ put you through, but I know that it was―is―really scarring, so I’m not going to force you to talk.”  
He began to scratch at the wall again. The aching in his finger was better than the pain that grew in his chest.

“When you left―were taken,” he stuttered over his words. “We were all so  _ lost _ . We didn’t know what to do, we couldn’t  _ function _ without you. We  _ can’t  _ function without you. And even if you’re back now…  _ he _ changed you.

“You’re not the same Lance. You used to be  _ happy _ and  _ vibrant _ . And then he fucking  _ tortured you _ and now you’re not  _ you _ and God damnit we miss you Lance― _ I _ miss you. Whoever he convinced you you were  _ isn’t _ really you! We want you  _ back  _ Lance! And we’re trying  _ so hard, _ so  _ please _ just let us help you. I  _ want _ to help you!” he paused to take a breath, which gave Lance enough time to reply.

“I wasn’t happy.” his voice was low, and Keith almost didn’t hear what he had said. “I was never really  _ happy,”  _ he sneered.

“Lance, what do you―”

A new adrenaline flowed through his body, all of the feelings that have been lying dormant in his body since Lotor had saved him finally boiled over, and all of his rage that held was let loose.

“All any of you  _ ever _ did was hurt me!” his voice raised to a shout. “None of you  _ ever _ appreciated me, you never found me useful! I was  _ never _ worth  _ anything  _ to you! And all you ever did to me was  _ hurt me! _ And you took me away from Lotor, who was the  _ only _ person who knows how to make my pain  _ stop! _ ” 

Lance was fully facing Keith now. Keith watched as the blood dripped from Lance’s fingers. His heart beat in his hand as crimson droplets fell onto the sheets below.

Keith looked like he wanted to speak, but no words left his mouth. He just stood up, the door clicking to unlock, and he left. 

He was alone again.

He turned back to the wall. His body shook with uncontrollable anger that numbed the pain in his finger as he continued to scrape at the wall, enlarging the already sizable hollow that he was rubbing into the wall.

The new silence was unsettling, so he clawed at the wall even harder. The stone had filed his nail down to nothing, and then had eroded his skin until it was bleeding.

The door burst open again, startling Lance when strong arms grabbed him by the waist, pinning his arms to his sides. Another pair of arms steadied his legs, keeping him from succeeding in his attempts to flail and get loose. A third person grabbed at his hands, in an effort to wrap his bleeding fingers. 

He tried to struggle.

He  _ tried _ to get free, but eventually his limbs burned, slowing until he was a loud sobbing mess. Screaming that he didn’t want to be here. 

Everything hurt.

He wanted it all to  _ end _ .

Someone  _ end him _ .

“You’re  _ safe  _ Lance,” a feminine voice spoke soothingly. A hand paused from wrapping his fingers to stroke his hair. “You’re  _ safe. _ We aren’t going to  _ hurt you _ .”

When the other two bodies released his limbs, the third enveloped him in a warm embrace. Lance continued his horrible half-sobs, half-screams, but found comfort in that hand that caressed his hair. 

Everything  _ hurt _ , but it was not the hurt that he had when he was with Lotor. His heart  _ ached. _

The other two bodies stepped away, only returning to press a small device to his neck, pinching his skin. 

His already obscured began to swim, but the Princess stayed. She whispered words that were meant to soothe him. She anchored him in her arms, not letting him go. He  _ clung _ to her like a lifeline.

She stayed until the world spun to nothing. She kept him in her arms.

He felt  _ safe _ .

* * *

 

Keith shouldn’t’ve gone to see Lance. It had been a mistake.

Shiro had convinced him that it was a good idea, and in some sort of pipedream, Keith had hoped that  _ maybe _ he could help Lance start recovering. Somehow, something would click in his head and he would start to get better.

_ God _ , had he been wrong.

Lance’s words had struck a knife right into Keith’s heart, and he retreated back into his room as soon as he left Lance’s temporary holding-room.

Had he really meant what he’d said? Or was that just the ideas that Lotor had been feeding to him as he was tortured, Keith couldn’t be sure. But either way, Lance’s words had  _ physically _ hurt him.

How could’ve Lance  _ ever  _ thought anything like that? He was so  _ incredibly _ important to all of them.  How could he have gotten the impression that he just… didn’t  _ matter  _ to them?! Was he  _ blind?! _ Keith couldn’t’ve survived when Shiro was missing  _ without _ him. Keith  _ needed  _ him. 

It made Keith want to punch Lotor in the face even more because fucking _dare_ he make Lance believe that they saw him as less than what he was. That was the most ridiculous thing that he had ever heard. They were a _family_. The fact that Lance believed―or at least _now_ believed―that they found him worthless made Keith want to slap Lance in the face because of _course_ they loved Lance.

It may not have even been Lance’s real feelings, but it still  _ hurt _ to hear him say it. It made Keith  _ angry _ and  _ devastated _ him at the same time.

Just the fact that they were even  _ in  _ this situation frustrated Keith to no end. Lance had been kidnaped and tortured. He couldn’t remember who he was and had become convinced that everyone in the castle had hated him.

It made Keith want to cry.

“They had to sedate him,  _ again! _ ” Pidge stormed into Keith’s room, foregoing the knocking. “How many times are they going to knock him out before they realize that it isn’t going to  _ work?! _ ” she gave a small scream as she gripped her hair, giving the appearance that she was going to pull it out.

There was a beat. “I just want Lance back.” she whispered.

Keith didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to.

He turned away from Pidge, facing the wall. Lance was so  _ broken _ . And Keith felt like there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Lance didn’t seem like he  _ wanted _ to be fixed.

Eventually, Pidge either got bored, or decided to give Keith some space. She just left Keith alone and he cried.

It wasn’t chest rattling or panic inducing this time. It was silent. Keith hardly moved as the tears just slid from his eyes, dampening the sheets under his head.

He just felt so  _ tired. _ FInding Lance hadn’t solved  _ anything _ . If anything, getting him back had made feel  _ worse _ because even with Lance here, there was still nothing that he could do to  _ help him _ .

Keith didn’t want to feel anything anymore. He  _ couldn’t  _ feel anything anymore. 

It broke his heart that he couldn’t save Lance. He felt useless because he couldn’t seem to save  _ anyone _ . He just stayed in his room and wept. 

Keith wished he couldn’t feel a damn thing anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And you all thought it couldn't get any worse 


	11. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there's typos or just weirdness, it's because I'm exhausted and reading Hamlet and I low key want to die, but PLEASE LET ME KNOW SO I CAN FIX THEM.  
> BUT ANYWAY.... as always thank you all for your lovely comments and a big thanks to those of you who've messaged me on my Instagram/Tumblr!!!  
> And if anyone is interested, I'll be livestreaming on my Instagram as soon as I finish my school stuff, and /probably/ will be working on cosplay stuff!! And if any of you want to talk about the fic or anything, please come and talk to me!!! (i am so alone save me)  
> Enjoy the chapter~~~  
> ig/yt/tumblr: @thespasticphoenix

When Keith saw Lance out of his room he _froze_.

Then he turned on a time, practically sprinting away. He had to keep himself from thinking that he was still _Lance_ . It hurt him to think that Lance wasn’t _himself_ anymore.

It was someone _else_ who was wearing Lance’s clothes. This person stiffened at any loud sound. This person hardly ate, and they slept whenever Allura or Shiro wasn’t escorting them around the castle-ship. This person couldn’t stand to be around any of the Paladins.

He couldn’t be in the same room as Keith without cowering and crying.

Keith spent _hours_ trying to wrap his head around the idea that Lance was actually _scared_  of them. That Lotor had somehow managed to stuff Lance’s head full of ideas and thoughts that were not his. S _omehow_ Lance had believed him, and let Lotor to get away with killing who he was.

Keith had to step into an empty hallway to calm himself down.

The anxiety that racked his chest was overpowering and all consuming. He had to sit down to keep from falling over. Keith’s chest rattled with uneven breaths that made his head spun. They had Lance’s body back, but it wasn’t him.

Keith just wanted _Lance_ back.

Keith wanted the Lance that had kept him sane when Shiro was missing. He wanted the Lance that had spent countless nights up with him, just _talking_ with him. He had made Keith feel okay. He’d made Keith feel _safe._

Seeing what Lance had become―what Lotor had _made him_ ―was too much for him.

RIght now, Keith just _couldn’t._

* * *

 

The Princess had been showing him around the castle. Again, apparently. She had told him that it was a place where he had once lived happily.

Everything made his head hurt.

He clung to Allura like a shy child. There was something in the air around her that made him feel less uneasy; but even still, there was a knot his stomach that remained constant, no matter what anyone said. His discomfort skyrocketed whenever any of the Paladins were in the same room.  

When the Red―Keith had entered the Bridge, while Allura had taken him, he was only there for a moment before he sprinted away, in the opposite direction.

Allura looked like she was going to call after him, but decided against it. “Keith has been… fragile since―” she paused, looking down at Lance with a small, reassuring smile. “Nevermind. He just needs some time.”

Time for _what?_

Allura quickly changed the subject, and continued to talk about the castle, and about the happy life that he had _apparently_ had before Lotor. Part of him was beginning to question what had happened. He didn’t know what was real and what was lies anymore.

He wanted to believe that they weren’t going to hurt him, but he also believed that they didn’t find him useful. It was obvious that they had been able to take care of things without him. They had been able to steal him from Lotor without too much of a fight.

They were fine without him, so Lance didn’t understand why they wanted him back so bad.

“Lance,” Allura’s voice snapped him back into the world around him. “Did you hear what I asked?”

Lance blinked, still refocusing. He shook his head.

“I asked if you would like to visit the Blue Lion.”

The thought of seeing the Voltron Lions again terrified him. He thought back to what Lotor had said about the Lions hurting him. It was going to _hurt_.

“I don’t know.”

Despite his unsure reply, Allura still ushered him towards the hanger. He clung to her sleeve tightly, afraid of what awaited him in the next room. He was afraid of what awaited him when he went face to face with one of the Lions.

His Lion, Allura had told him.

“Lance,” Shiro greeted as they neared the Blue Lion’s hanger. Lance’s grip on Allura’s arm tightened. He tried to ignore all of the warning bells that went off in his head as Shiro spoke to him.

“Hi.” He managed to squeak out.

Shiro turned to Allura. “How is he doing?”

“He’s still extremely apprehensive around everyone.” she looked down at Lance, who stood small at her side. “We were going to visit his Lion, weren’t we Lance?”

Weakly, Lance nodded. They had told him that he shouldn’t be scared of them, but still He didn’t feel safe.

“Well, I can accompany you both then.” Shiro shot a look to Allura that made Lance’s stomach churn.

The sheer mass of the hanger felt so overwhelming to Lance. It was all so _huge_.

Allura sensed Lance’s anxiety. “You’re alright Lance,” she set a comforting hand on his hair. “You should go and visit your Lion. Shiro and I… need to talk.”

Lance was shooed towards the massive Blue Lion, and a new presence filled his mind. It was both comforting and mildly terrifying at the same time.

Tentatively, he reached out to the presence, and almost instantly, the giant metal beast physically responded. It bent down, it’s mouth opening in front of where Lance stood.

He stumbled backwards, somehow managing to stay on his feet. He looked back towards Allura and Shiro, but they were engaged in some intense conversation. Still unsure of himself, he stepped onto the ramp that lead into the Lion. HIs footsteps were soft clanks of metal, the sounds of Shiro and Allura’s conversation fading.

The closer Lance got to the cockpit, the colder it felt inside. But still, the presence in Lance’s head urged him to go deeper into the Lion. It almost felt like it was trying to comfort him; but still, he wasn’t sure if he _wanted_ the Lion to comfort him.

Cautiously, Lance sat down in the chair in the center of the cockpit. It jerked forwards once he sat and he yelped in surprise at the sudden motion. A display came up on the screen once the chair stilled. Lance adjusted his body to a fetal position as he took in all of the information that was on the screen.

Allura had said that it wasn’t going to hurt him. She had told him that she hoped that seeing the Blue Lion would help Lance get better.

But what did they want him to be _better_ than?  
The presence in his head returned, stronger this time. It urged him to reach out and touch the controls that sat dormant in front of him.

He _wanted_ to, but still he was afraid of what might happen to him when he did. Still, curiousity got the best of him, and he reached out to touch the controls. He wasn’t sure if it was a mistake, or a blessing in disguise.

Either way, his brain felt as though it was _shattering_.

Every moment, every conversation, every feeling, every emotion that had run through his head since he had found the Blue Lion _flooded_ through his mind.

It all happened at a rate that splintered his brain until there was nothing but raw emotion. All of the pain and anguish that he’d felt when he was with Lotor all returned to him and he screamed.

Footsteps rushed towards him, arms reaching out to calm him, but he was blinded. His fragmented brain didn’t comprehend what was happening, he couldn’t _see_ what was going on around him so he flailed.

His hands made contact with someone’s skin, then gripping the arm that reached out to him, pulling it in a direction that wasn’t natural for _anyone_.

Enduring all of that emotion, all of the trauma enter his mind at once made him _break_ . He wanted to get rid of it. His head was going to _explode_ because nothing alive is made to feel all of the experiences, all the pain of their life at once.

His body was in pure _agony._ And his mind wanted to protect himself, end all of the pain that he was experiencing, so he flailed until his head made contact with the metal walls of the Lion.

Tremors shook his body as he slammed into the wall again. He needed it to _end_.

Before he could launch himself at the wall again, another pair of arms surprised him, wrapping around his own until his limbs stopped thrashing.

Lance let out a loud sob that came out as a partial scream of anguish. His head _hurt_ . The combination of his entire life being jammed into his head, paired with the injuries he had inflicted on himself were too much for him to handle. Someone needed to _end him!_

The presence in the back of his mind was dull, everything felt numb besides the floodgate of emotions that had been released. But still, the presence of the Lion felt comforting, and gave Lance the feeling of a blanket being pulled over him, like his mother used to do when he was little.

Someone spoke to him. He didn’t understand what they were saying, processing as gibberish, but just the comfort of the person’s words allowed Lance to relax, his body going limp in the arms.

The blanket like feeling was pulled completely over him, and once again, the world was black.

* * *

 

“You’ve wasted too much time on this... _boy_ , Lotor!”

Since the Blue Paladin had disappeared, all of Lotor’s time had been consumed by finding the insignificant human. He was acting like a _child_ who had lost a toy, when he had the entire _Universe_ at the tips of his fingers.

The Universe was almost at _her_ fingertips.

“They _have him_ , Haggar!” Lotor shouted, throwing a chair in the already demolished room. “They’re so _close!”_ Tables were overturned, and large marks littered the walls from the times that Lotor had had his sword close at hand during his _tantrums_. But no one had stopped him because they were scared of getting in the Prince’s path.

“I need to _find him!”_

“No, you don’t.” Haggar snapped back. She no longer cared if he was the Heir to the Galran Empire. He was a foolish _child_ who had lost his temper if he didn’t get his way.

Lotor turned to face her. He looked like a madman. His hair was normally perfectly kept, but now it was askew, falling out of it’s normal place, and settling across his face.

“ _What?!”_

“You’ve spent too much time on him as is,” she continued. “You need to refocus on the more important goals at hand.”

“More _important?!”_ Lotor stepped forward, hand reaching for the sword at his belt. “You _dare_ to say that finding my―”

“You’ve had your playtime, Lotor. Now you need to return to completing your father’s aspirations.”

“My _father?!”_ Lotor’s face flushed in anger. “You mean to call the man who spent _countless_ years searching for the Black Lion, who _obsessed_ over it, while handing his _illegitimate_ son over to be raised by the Druids my _father?!”_

Haggar seethed, but kept up a facade. “I understand your hatred towards him,” she gritted out. “But his aspirations have been given to you to be your _legacy_ . I would advise you end the nonsensical hunt for a mere _Pet_ when you could have the whole of the Universe.

Lotor paused, remaining silent for a moment.

“ _Fine_ .” his words were filled with venom. “But first, give me one more chance to find him. Allow me your resources and let me find him. After He’s mine again, I will devote all of my attention to my father’s cause.” he sounded desperate. He was a _infant_ doing a man’s work.

But still, Haggar agreed. Let him have his _Pet_. Let him follow his foolish dreams. After he had the Blue Paladin again, or the Blue Paladin was killed, Haggar would get her way.

The Universe would be _hers._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Lance is a mama's boy  
> I tried to give Lotor a low-key backstory? For some reason i hc him as being a bastard. I dunno, just... shrug...  
> And I'll be livestreaming on IG today!!!  
> ~Until next time~  
> Phoenix


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to post the chapter at school but AO3 wasn't responding  
> Now things are back so murder me  
> This chapter is shorter (which I hate I'm sorry) but I had a little bit of writer's block with this one  
> BUT WHO ELSE WAS SHOOK BY ALL THE SEASON 3 THINGS!?!? (I started styling my Lotor wig bc I was inspired tbh)  
> But anyway, enjoy the chapter!!!  
> Follow me! @thespasticphoenix ig/yt/tumblr

When Red had called out to Keith, it was like he had been shot straight through the chest.

Instantly, he knew that something was wrong. He threw himself from his bed, nearly crashing into the walls as he skidded across the floor.

Something was _wrong_.

He let Red guide him towards whatever was wrong. He was headed towards the hangers, but was surprised when he felt himself been drawn towards Lance’s Lion instead of his own.

For a split second, Keith doubted himself. He wanted to cry every time he saw Lance, because of the empty shell he had become. Even still, his Lion sent another wave of urgency into his chest, telling him that he _needed_ to go to the Blue Lion.

When Keith got there, his chest _dropped_ at what he saw unfolding in front of him.

Shiro cradled Allura. Her right arm hung limply at her side, and she appeared to be in tremendous amounts of physical, and mental pain. But still, Allura attempted to call out to Lance. The look in her eyes was so _broken_.

Shiro was yelling, Keith wasn’t sure if it was at him, or at Lance. But either way, Keith couldn’t hear him over the blood that rushed in his ears.

The feeling of something being wrong was all consuming when he saw Lance. Keith didn’t even realize that he shot forward towards him, until his arms were attempting to encircle Lance. His chest _burned_ with the pain of seeing Lance hurting himself, and Keith did his best to stop him despite Lance’s struggled screams.

The tangy scent of Lance’s blood hung heavy in the air. Keith could feel Lance’s body quiver as he tried to keep him still, arms tight around Lance’s arms and torso. Keith held onto him tight. Lance still struggled in an attempt to ram his head into the wall again, but Keith would _not_ let go.

He would never let Lance go again.

“Lance, it’s okay, you’re _okay!”_ Keith babbled as Lance’s body twisted, struggling in his arms. Keith’s heart ached to see Lance like this, to see Lance so _broken_.

“Lance, we can’t watch you hurt yourself anymore! We want you to be _safe!_ _Please Lance!_ We want you back― _I_ need you back! I can’t watch you be like this anymore!” Now Keith had been reduced to pleading tears.

Even if Lotor didn’t have Lance anymore, Keith was _done_ with him still controlling Lance. He hated that Lance had suffered to the point of losing who he was. Keith felt _lost_ without Lance―the real Lance―not this false copy that Lotor had created. He wanted _his_ Lance back.

“Lance _please!_ ” he implored. _“Please come back to me!”_

Something seemed to snap inside of Lance. All at once, his crying stopped, and his stiff limbs went slack. His entire body was still and it _scared_ Keith.

“ _Lance!_ ” Keith screamed, gripping Lance’s clammy body closer to his own. “Lance, Please don’t―”

“He’s alright, Keith.” Allura’s voice cut in. Shiro tried to keep her still, but she still attempted to sit up anyway. “Lance is going to be fine. It’s his Lion, she―”

Allura appeared to be too weak to say anything else, but Keith understood what she was trying to tell him. The Blue Lion has been trying to protect Lance.

Keith’s Lion had protected Lance too.

She had called out to Keith, telling him that something was wrong. God knows what Lance could’ve done to himself if the Red Lion hadn’t called out to him.

Even with the knowledge that Lance’s lion had used their bond to knock Lance out, Keith still felt upset and shaken by the whole situation.

Shiro had been there. So why hadn’t he done _anything_ to stop Lance?

Keith was silent as they made their way back to the Medical Bay. Lance was heavy in his arms, but he continued moving. He didn’t want to see Lance in the pod again, but he knew that Lance needed to recover.

It broke his heart to see him in the pod again, but he wasn’t going to leave Lance this time. He wasn’t going to leave him again.

Keith had been running away from anything that made him uncomfortable for his entire life. Lance _needed_ him now. This wasn’t a problem that Keith could ignore and it would go away on it’s own.

He couldn’t leave Lance when he needed support the most.

Shiro stood in the Med Bay as well, pacing in front of Allura’s pod. She had initially refused, saying that it was more important to make sure that Lance was alright first. Eventually, Shiro had convinced her to go in the pod, even for just a few hours, to heal her arm.

Keith knew that he shouldn’t be mad at Shiro, but he couldn’t help feeling _disgusted_ with him right now.

“Why didn’t you stop him?” Keith’s voice split the deafening silence. “You were _right there_ Shiro. So _why_ didn’t you do anything?!

Shiro’s eyes flicked across the room, towards everyone who sat around the room. They had stopped whatever they were doing  to listen to the conversation.

“If you want to talk to me about this, I would prefer if―”

“No, Shiro.” Keith snapped, cutting him off. “We are _all_ worried about Lance. If we are going to talk about this, it’s going to be with all of us. I want to know why you didn’t try to _stop_ him.”

“Allura was―”

“I understand that Allura was hurt, but so was Lance!” Keith’s anger boiled over, causing to his words to come out as shouts. “He was ramming his head into the _fucking wall!_ And you sat there and didn’t do a _damn thing!”_

“That’s not cool, Shiro.” Hunk pitched in. He looked like he was on the verge of getting upset, but he kept himself under control.

“What the _hell were you thinking?!”_ Keith had moved so he stood directly facing Shiro. Spit flew from his mouth as he screamed. “You were _right th_ ―”

“Allura got hurt too!” Shiro stepped forward, forcing Keith to step back. “If the situations had been reversed, if Allura was the one lashing out and Lance was hurt, you know who you would’ve gone to first, _Keith!_ ” Shiro’s face was hard, his eyes looked as angry as Keith felt. “You would’ve gone towards the person you _love!_ ”

Shiro’s words felt like blades in Keith’s stomach. He was still fuming, annoyed that Shiro had still let Lance get to the point of injuring himself, outraged that hadn’t kept Lance safe. But Keith also felt slightly _embarrassed._

He felt embarrassed because he was a hypocrite. He had lashed out on Shiro, when he was just telling the situation as he was. If things had been opposite, Keith would’ve gone towards Lance first―no matter what was happening―Shiro was _right_.

Keith would’ve first gone towards the person that he loved.

* * *

 

“My _father_ built our empire on the backs of resemblance. The Universe can no longer doubt our strength.”

Lotor stood above the Galran army, speaking down to them. This had been Haggar’s idea. He honestly didn’t feel the need. He believed that the mere Galra soldiers weren’t worthy of being in his presence. They were beneath him. They were _scum_ compared to him.

“Each ally gained only makes us stronger.” Again, that was Haggar’s idea. She informed him that not gaining allies was one of his father’s downfalls. Closing themselves off would make it that much harder to gain control. If people trusted him, it would make them that much easier to destroy.

“All of those who continue to stand against us… will be _crushed_.”

The Galra beneath him cheered. Even if they were below him, the thunderous applause made his heart _swell_.

Haggar called his name, ushering him back towards the War Room. “We have matters to attend to.”

Despite her constant nagging, Lotor had found that Haggar was more useful to him now than when his father was in power. She was proving to be an asset to him―to aid him in taking back what was _his_ ―so he had decided not to get rid of her just yet.

“As we have discussed,  I suggest that now is the time to make contact with the nearby―”

“I want to make an attack on Voltron.”

Haggar stopped, looking at Lotor in question.

“I have a plan if that’s what you’re concerned about.” he continued. “We can destroy them, while also retrieving my _Pet_.”

Haggar pursed her lips. “Destroying Voltron will take more than one simple attack, Lotor. But damaging their forces _could_ be feasible.”

Lotor smirked. _Finally_ , after years of her treating him like a _child_ , Haggar had come to see him as an equal. Her resources were going to be the final step to recovering what was _his_.

He was going to _destroy_ Voltron. And once again, the Blue Paladin would be _his_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My children need hugs  
> Enough said  
> ~Until next time~  
> Phoenix


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, but still <3  
> If any of you want to hang out over livestream, I'll be live on my Instagram for most of tonight (when I'm at home at least) so please come and say hi!!!  
> And I've started thinking about what I want to write after I finish this, and I've come up with a few ideas, (all of them being Klance fics i am not sorry) but I'm still not sure yet

Keith had not left Lance’s side since he was put in the healing pod.

Shiro hadn’t left Allura’s pod either, but neither of them spoke to one another. Keith was still upset with him. As much as he saw Shiro as a brother, he still wanted to yell at him every time he opened his mouth to try to talk to him. Keith was going to  _ lose it. _

Pidge and Hunk had tried to play peacemaker. It wasn’t really working, but Keith still had to give them some credit for trying.

Keith was  _ so  _ impatient.

His heart was about to explode when Allura had left her pod. It was only a few hours later, but still Keith prayed that Lance would recover just as quickly. Shiro left the Medical Bay with Allura, which gave Keith some room to breathe.

Still, he had to wait. 

Two more days had passed. Seconds ticked by at half of their normal pace. It felt like the minutes were never ending. He felt like he couldn’t cry anymore. 

He was so  _ tired _ .

Tired of chasing Lotor all over the Universe in their attempts to find Lance. Tired of not being able to keep Lance safe. Tired of watching him  _ hurt _ himself.

All he wanted was for lance to be safe.

Keith began to zone out, trapped in his own thoughts. He didn’t notice the two figures that approached him from behind.

“Keith we need to―”

“This is an intervention  _ bitch! _ ” Pidge screeched, cutting Hunk off and grabbing Keith by his ear like a child.

Keith tried to protest, calling out in pain as Pidge pulled in his skin. She snapped at him, shushing him as she continued to pull him away from Lance’s pod. Pidge wasn’t going to let him get out of this, so he remained stubbornly silent.

“Keith,” Pidge practically threw Keith across an empty hallway once they were far enough from the Med Bay. “You sire, are being an asshole.”

“Pidge―”

“She’s right, Keith.” Hunk glanced between them. “I wouldn’t have said it in  _ that _ way, and what Shiro did  _ was _ crappy, but you  _ can’t  _ stay mad at him like this.”

Keith didn’t speak.

“What kind of team are we if Lance wakes up, and we’re all too mad at each other to  _ actually  _ function?!” Pidge looked like she was about to explode. To her, they were a second family. 

Keith knew that it was probably tearing her up that they were breaking apart like this, and another wave of guilt rushed over him.

“You’re acting like a bratty little kid!” Pidge’s voice threatened to break. “Like it or not, Shiro is still our leader. As idiotic and crappy as what he did was―”

“I know.” Keith snapped back. “I know that what he said was right, but that still isn’t an  _ excuse! _ ”

“That isn’t an excuse to be an  _ asshole! _ ”

Keith huffed, his eyes going back and forth between his two friends. “I want to be there when Lance―”

“Keith,  _ no _ .” Hunk’s voice had turned stern. “You can’t stay angry like this! What good is it going to do for Lance if you’re just  _ festering _ with anger all the time? What is Lance going to think when he wakes up and you and Shiro are fighting? The person he looks up to and the person who l―”

The lump that had formed in Keith’s throat burst into a sob. He  _ knew _ that everything they had said was right. He was such an impulsive, shitty idiot. He knew that he should just go and forgive Shiro, but he was just so  _ frustrated. _

“I just want Lance to be  _ okay!” _ Water welled in his eyes, spilling onto his face when he blinked. “I just don’t want to have to see him in that  _ fucking  _ pod anymore.”

Neither Hunk or Pidge said anything else. Keith’s legs buckled and he sobbed, falling to the ground. Why did this have to happen to them? Couldn’t they just be  _ normal? _

Pidge and Hunk knelt down next to him embracing him as he cried. Keith found comfort in their touch. He’d felt so  _ lost _ considering everything that was going on. It felt like absolutely  _ nothing  _ could ever go right with them.

“Just make up with Shiro, okay?” Pidge’s voice was soft, muffled within the hug. “I don’t want to see you guys mad anymore.”

Keith continued to cry, accepting that they were right. He couldn’t stay mad. They’d just become even more broken if he stayed mad, as stupid as what Shiro had done was. Even if was exactly what Keith would’ve done.

They didn’t leave him. THey stayed with Keith until the crying stopped―and he was so incredibly thankful. 

Keith had never had anything like this back on Earth. He’d never had anyone besides Shiro, really―but even he had been taken away from him. Keith had always felt alone in the Universe.

Until now.

* * *

 

Lance was sitting on the floor when the three of them got back.

Keith’s heart jumped up into his throat, beating at an inhuman pace.He reached out towards Lance, only to stop short when Lance’s eyes met with his own. He was crying.

He didn’t look  _ scared _ , but they weren’t happy tears either. Keith could see the  _ life _ in his eyes that hadn’t been there when he had been rescued. But still, Lance didn’t look completely whole again.

Shiro was next to him, speaking in words that were low enough that it was inaudible to Keith. For a moment, Keith’s anger flared again, becoming defensive as Shiro reached out to place a hand on Lance’s shoulder.

Lance almost instantly snapped at Shiro, who instantly removed his hand. Lance’s eyes never left Keith’s as he spoke, nearly silent, to Shiro. His mouth moved rapidly, almost feverishly.

“ _ Lance!”  _ Pidge and Hunk rushed forward, only stopping when Shiro held his hand out, giving the three of them a look of warning.

Lance’s gaze shifted from Keith to the others, his face softening slightly. “Hi guys.” His smile wal almost non-existent, but still it was there. It was Lance that had smiled. He was Lance again.

Hunk was crying again, this time it was happy tears.

Keith wanted to cry again too.

Lance stood up, refusing Shiro’s help and instead using the now empty pod to hold himself up.

Keith wanted to reach out to him. He wanted to embrace him and never let go. He never wanted to let Lance go again.

Lance stumbled forward, and Keith shout out to catch him. He almost lost his balance also, with the added weight of Lance’s body in his arms. Keith held his breath. Lance looked up at him with wide eyes.

He stumbled backwards, his body pressing up against the pod. Lance didn’t look upset, but still he was crying. “I―” he began, cracking as he spoke. “I want to… I need to be alone.” 

Keith’s heart shattered.

He tried to call after Lance, run after him, but Shiro reached out again, blocking Keith from going after Lance. “Keith…”

“Is he alright?” All of Keith’s anger towards Shiro vanished, just leaving a painful aching in his heart.

“He’ll be fine,” Keith let out a sigh of relief. “He’s just overwhelmed by everything. He’s gone through a lot, and needs time to process it.”

Keith nodded. It was understandable that Lance still wouldn’t be normal. But it still make Keith’s chest ache to see Lance somewhat afraid of them.

He looked up to Shiro again, his face mirroring the aching that Keith felt. The worry for Lance, the dreaded sinking feeling that he still wasn’t okay, was all clearly expressed on Shiro’s face.

“Shiro I―” his apology was cut off as Shiro spoke.

“You don’t need to apologize, Keith.” Shiro gave him a miniscule half smile. “It was wrong of me to―”

“But you were right!” Keith admitted. His eyes dropped to his shows. “What you said. When you said that I would’ve gone to Lance first. I would have… no matter what.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Lance is /back/ but what are the implications of all the strain being put on his mind


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so bad for not posting within the past few days I am so sorrrryyy.  
> But hey I'm 90% done with my Yuuri Eros cosplay so YESSS  
> And I might film some Lotor things tonight if I find the will to paint myself purple

His skin  _ burned _ when they touched him.

His flesh crawled at the pressure of another person’s touch on him. It made his head spin and his skin become slick with sweat. Any sort of touch made him want to cry.

It made him feel  _ dirty _ .

He wanted to puke.

Lance couldn’t deny it anymore―what had happened. Blue had made sure of that. She’d shown him what had happened, he  _ knew _ what Lotor has done to him and it had made his entire world spin. 

He felt like he was the scum of the Earth for letting it happen to him.

He wanted to purge himself. He wanted to scrape every cell of his body that he had touched, that was  _ his _ . Lance couldn’t stand the thought that his body was no longer his own―that he was  _ owned. _

Lance wished he could forget any of this ever happened. Because of what Blue had shown him, he  _ couldn’t _ . 

He wouldn’t be able to forget what Blue had shown him about the others, either.

Because of his connection to his Lion, and her connection to the other Lions, and thus the other Paladins, Blue had been able to show Lance nearly  _ everything.  _ Every single emotion that had gone through their heads while he was gone had been forced into Lance’s mind. Violently, and all at once. But still, it was  _ heartbreaking. _

Even so, Lance still didn’t completely understand  _ why _ it had been so heartbreaking for them. 

Lance didn’t understand  _ why _ Keith had reacted in the way he did. Out of everyone it had seemed the most unexpected. He that that he would care least of all. He had believed that none of them cared.

Lance didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what was real anymore. He couldn’t find the difference between the truth and what was lies. He was  _ powerless _ .

He  _ wanted _ to get better―he really did―but he didn’t know  _ how _ . How could he make himself better if he felt so  _ alone?! _ Shiro had been taken by the Galra―twice―but it wasn’t the  _ same _ . He hadn’t gone through the same things that Lance had gone through―he was  _ alone _ in this.

He was overwhelmed with everything. He fell off of his bed and onto the floor. The chill from the ground was a comfort to his burning skin. A gross mix of tears and snot ran from his face as he choked out pathetic sobs.

He couldn’t go to anyone about this. He was the one that went through this and for  _ once _ , he should just deal with this on his own. He didn’t want to be any more of a burden than he already was.

No one could fix him. This was something that he should do alone, no one else could do it for him.

Once again, he was alone in the Universe.

* * *

 

Keith was  _ extremely _ tempted to go see Lance.

His heart danced in his chest, thumping like a stampeding  of animals every time he thought about going over there. He sat alone, hands fidgeting with his knife. Wrapping and unwrapping the cloth until he almost reached the point of insanity.

Lance’s room was directly next to his. He could just do it. He just needed to get up, off of his stupid ass and do it. It wouldn’t be  _ hard _ . Lance was  _ right next door _ so why couldn’t Keith sum up the courage to go over there and actually  _ do it?! _

It was because of the way Lance had reacted when he’d seen them all again. The way that he’d shot back when Keith’s skin touched his. Keith wondered if maybe there was something wrong with  _ him? _

Did Lance pull away suddenly because he was somehow able to sense Keith’s Galra DNA? Had what Lotor done to him scarred Lance enough that he was  _ afraid  _ of him? He couldn’t stand to be around Keith.

Keith was so  _ fucking  _ frustrated that he wanted to cry. He didn’t know if he would be able to stand it if Lance was going to run away whenever Keith got  _ near him. _ It would tear him apart till there was nothing left. 

He could do it. Keith could go to him.

Someone knocked at Keith’s door. He silently wished that it was Lance on the other side of the door. Maybe Lance was standing there. Keith wouldn’t be able to stop himself from pulling Lance into his arms. He wouldn’t be able to stop crying,  _ begging  _ for Lance to come back to him. He wanted  _ Lance _ to come back to him.

It was Pidge, at the door. She told him that Shiro wanted to talk to all of them.

Silently, Keith followed her to the Bridge. His anxiety grew stronger, all consuming the further away he got from his room―from Lance.

“We need to discuss a few things about Lance.” Shiro crossed his arms over his chest. “About what happened. With his Lion, when he got out of the pod, all of it.” No one spoke. They all just waited for Shiro to continue speaking.

“From what we know because of Allura, the Blue Lion’s connection with Lance allowed her to share  _ all  _ of Lance’s memories with him.” Shiro took a breath. “And when he got out of the pod, he was crying and on the ground when I got there.”

Keith’s jaw tightened. He should have been there.

“He started to ramble. It seemed like nonsense at first, but looking back at it now…”

“Did he talk about what Lotor did to him?” Hunk asked, voice sounding desperate.

Grimly, Shiro nodded. He paused before he spoke, trying to find the best words to make what he was about to say next sound as gentle as possible. “He said…” Shiro’s voice began to sway. “He said that they told him that he wouldn’t hurt if he listened. It made it sound like―”

“Like they hurt him until he said what they wanted him to say.” Pidge scowled at the ground, trying to hold back the rage behind her eyes. The skin of Keith’s knuckles tightened until they were white, his chest  _ ached. _

“Until he was brainwashed into saying  _ exactly _ what they wanted to hear!” Pidge’s voice grew into a shout. “They tortured him until he complied. He couldn’t handle being in that much pain so he _ broke _ . He  _ gave up because he couldn’t handle it anymore!” _

Worry and guilt washed over Keith again. They didn’t get there in time, they had been too  _ late _ . They could’ve been able to stop this from happening if only they’d gotten to him  _ faster _ . Keith could’ve  _ stopped this! _

“Knowing all of this,” Shiro continued. “Whatever Lotor did  _ really  _ messed with Lance’s head. And I want to help him get better as quickly as possible―as much as anyone,” Shiro quickly glanced over to Keith. “But we can’t push him to hard. If we push him too much, it might send him further into isolation. Letting him heal should be natural, and trying to push him too much might make him even more unwilling to open up on his own.”

Shiro began to speak again, but he was cut off by the castle’s alarms started blaring. The lights flashing red around him.

“Get to your Lions!” Allura commanded. “It appears we’re being attacked by the Galra!”

Keith was the last one to react. “What about Lance? He―”

“There’s no time! We can finish talking later!” Shiro shouted.

Keith felt that he was being pulled in two conflicting directions. Ultimately, he followed the others to their Lions, but a feeling in his gut still held him back.

The tension could be felt in the air, even while they were in each of their own lions. Enemy fire rained down on them the instant they left the protection of the castle and entered the open space. So much was happening all at once that it was almost overwhelming.

Then he saw  _ it _ .

In the center of it all it sat. Shining, in the same twisted version of glory, the ship looked the same as id did the night that they all thought Lance had died.

Lotor’s personal ship was in the center of the action, untouched.

Before he could tell the others, a crackling came over the speakers in Keith’s Lion.

“Are you guys hearing this?” Hunk asked. “Is it just me or―”

The crackling became stronger, cutting over Hunk until it made Keith’s head buzz. Then, a new voice sounded over the coms.

“Hello Paladins,” Lotor’s voice made Keith want to puke. “Return my pet to me and I  _ might _ consider letting the rest of you live.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, your comments are lovely and I adore you all <3  
> ~Until next time~  
> Phoenix


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've realized a few things:  
> First, this is the first full story that I've written in the third person  
> I use italics /way to much/  
> And this story just keeps getting closer and closer to being done and I am just in a constant state of s h o o k.  
> ALSO BIG SHOUT OUT TO @SEPTICPLIER98 WHO DREW ME ?! LIKE YOU ARE MY FAVORITE FAM OH MY LORD I CRIED  
> And I'm trying to update as fast as I can, but AP tests and the SAT and just life is coming up and yikes

Keith’s vision was red.

“You’re a new level of sick if you think we’re going to hand one of our teammates over.” Keith’s hand shook,  _ violently _ , on the controls of his Lion. Who the  _ fuck _ did Lotor think he was? Like  _ hell _ did Lotor think he was? Like  _ hell  _ would they ever hand Lance over to him.

“My assumption is that you prefer breathing, Red Paladin.” Lotor’s voice sneered. All the ships in the surrounding area had slowed, temporarily holding their fire. “If you would continue to still breathe, I suggest you return what is mine. I’m not askinging much, merely―”

“You just want my best friend.” Hunk snapped, cutting Lotor off. “YOu want to steal one of the people in the  _ Universe  _ that means so much to me―to  _ all _ of us!”

Keith saw that Hunk’s face had gone hard over the video feed. “Why would you think that we would just… hand him over to you? After all that you’ve done to him?”

“Done _for_ him.” Lotor called back. “I’ve shown my _pet_ the truth.”  
Keith was _itching_ to rip Lotor’s head off by his hair. Both he and Hunk fired Lotor dodged, his ship much faster than the blasts from the Lions. Keith was about ready to eject himself and beat Lotor up himself. 

Someone had hit the play button and everything returned to pure chaos. They all split off and began moving in defence. Keith headed straight for Lotor. He wanted more that  _ anything _ to get his hands around his neck. He knew that Lance was safe, but still Keith was absolutely  _ fuming. _

Lotor had to know what he had done had been painful to all of them. He’d fucked Lance up to the point where he didn’t trust any of them anymore, and Keith was going to make sure that Lotor would go through all the pain he put Lance through. And Keith was going to make sure that  _ he  _ was the one that made Lotor feel all of that. 

He would make him go through pain equal to what Lance had been forced through.

Suddenly, there were shouts of confusion over the coms. Not only from the other Paladins, but from Lotor as well.

The Blue Lion had entered the playing field.

“Lance…” Keith’s voice was distant, hardly sounding like his own. Could it really be him? He’d nearly gone insane the last time he was inside his lion, what was stopping him from hurting himself again? It’d be much harder for anyone to save him if he flipped out inside of Blue again, which also made it easier for Lotor to take him again.

Keith would do absolutely everything in his power to keep that from happening.

“ _ Pet! _ ” Lotor’s voice was much too giddy for the situation. 

Lance’s video feed popped up on Keith’s display.

He had been crying. It was obvious by the puffiness of his red eyes. He looked paler than normal also, and he wasn’t dressed in his Paladin armor either. He looked so sad. So  _ broken _ .

“It’s a  _ pleasure  _ to hear your voice again darling.” Lotor slurred. “Although it’d be  _ much _ more of a pleasure if―”

“Shut it, creep!” Pidge snapped over him.

“Don’t call me darling.” Lance’s voice was almost lost within the noise of everything around them. “My name isn’t Pet either.”

“But it is, sweet.” Lotor continued to purr, making Keith want to punch him in the throat even more. “Don’t you remember all of the  _ fun _ we had together? Don’t you want to be  _ happy _ again? Don’t you remember the way you crav―”

“I do remember.” Lance’s voice remained monotone. His eyes were unfocused like he was actually back there, re-experiencing the things that Lotor had done to him. So badly did Keith want to pull him out of there. He wanted to hold Lance and tell him that it was alright, he was never going to let that happen to him again―he shouldn’t’ve let it happen in the first place.

“I remember everything you did to me.” he was trembling now. Tears began to drop from his face again. “I remember every  _ second _ of torture and it  _ still _ hurts. I can’t touch anyone without thinking about all the horrible things you forced me to do―I can’t close my eyes without reliving it all! All the things you said―the things you made me believe! About them, about myself! I will never be able to erase that from my mind.”

“But have you forgotten all the pain that they made you feel, either?” Lotor countered.

Lance paused. “No.” 

A pit grew in Keith’s stomach. Had they ever hurt Lance? Even unknowingly?

“But what you did…” Lance continued to speak. “I don’t think I―”

“If you won’t  _ willingly _ come with me,  _ Pet _ , then I will be forced to take you.”

Lance shook his head at an almost violent rate. “I’m not going to be stolen again. I’m not going to be yours anymore!” His words shook Keith to his very core, his heart moving to his throat. It was  _ Lance. _

Keith hardly heard when Shiro called for them to form Voltron. It was the first time in a  _ long _ time that forming Voltron had actually felt  _ right _ . After months of everything being wrong―first with Shiro being gone, then Lance―everyone was finally back in their proper place. They were all together at  _ fucking  _ last and  _ God _ , did it feel great.

There was always that moment when all of their Lions came together and everything else froze. Time stopped and they were untouchable.

Then everything resumed and they absolutely  _ destroyed _ the oncoming Galra fleet.

Lotor’s audio feed had cut off, relieving Keith of the want to vomit all over the Red Lion’s controls. Lotor’s ship seemed to disappear into the dark of space, unfortunately unharmed, but gone nonetheless. And slowly, what remained of the Galra’s ships were destroyed or retreated. It wasn’t an epic victory, but no one was captured or almost killed.

Allura called them back to the castle when nothing but remnants of ships remained. Even as Voltron separated back into its five parts, Keith almost wasn’t able to keep a dopy grin from crawling its way onto his face. 

Even still, his hands trembled as they returned to the castle. Not only because he’d seen  _ Lance _ out there but again, Lotor had almost come close to stealing him again―which was something that Keith would die before seeing again.

“Lance!” Hunk was sprinting towards the BLue Paladin as soon as his lion came to a halt, encasting Lance in a bear hug. Lance let out a strangled yelp, and Pidge slapped Hunk upside the head. She hissed at him a not-so-gentle reminder of what Lance had said when faced with Lotor.

“Lance you did great out there.” Shiro’s pace slowed as he walked towards them, matching Keith’s pace. He was still unsure. Unsure if being around would make Lance upset, making him freak out again―or if Lance even  _ wanted _ Keith to be there at all. Apparently something had happened, even before Lotor, that made Lance think that they’d hurt him.

Keith was too caught up in his own mind that he didn’t realize that Lance had begun to cry.

“I’m sorry.” his chest shook violently, racking with tears. He looked so small. Keith wondered how someone with such a large personality, someone  _ so strong _ could look so helpless.

“Lance, why are you apologizing?” Pidge asked softly. “You haven’t done anything wrong?”

Lance let out an even louder whimper. “I did. I’m sorry that I messed up.” he continued. The look on his face wat that of an upset child. It made Keith wish that he could reach out and hold him, but he knew―as upsetting and agitating it made him feel―what was best for Lance would keeping his distance.

“I’m sorry for being such a burden. I’m sorry that I went with Lot―him…” Lance struggled to keep himself somewhat composed. “I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through this much trouble at  _ all  _ to get me back. I’m just sorry that I’m on the team in the first place.”

“ _ No.” _ That was  _ enough _ . Everyone looked to Keith, including Lance, but he avoided all of their eyes, keeping himself focused on the floor. He watched as droplets of water fell from his face. “Lance, don’t you  _ fucking _ apologize for anything. You did absolutely  _ nothing wrong _ ―if anything it was my fault for letting you go.” he admitted. Lance’s face has softened by the time he looked up. But his eyes were blurred with oncoming tears.

“You honestly have no  _ idea _ how crazy I went trying to find you―all of us, really.  _ None _ of us were okay without you―honestly, how could we? So  _ please,  _ Lance. Don’t say that we don’t need you, because we can’t do this without you― _ I _ can’t do this without you.”

Keith’s heart was pounding in his ears. He’d essentially just told Lance how much he really meant to him. He knew that in a situation like this, feelings and relationships didn’t matter. But still, Keith’s stomach was racking with nerves.

A pair of arms wrapped themselves around Keith after a moment of silence. He stumbled backwards in a struggle to keep himself, and the added weight of Lance’s body upright. 

Keith inhaled in sharp surprize. Lance’s head buried itself in Keith’s chest, against his armor before he fully realized what was going on. Keith’s arms were still half-raised in the air as he looked to the others, unsure of what to do. Lance seemed so vulnerable and Keith was worried that he was going to break him.

Shiro gave a Keith a small smile of reassurance. Although the internal panic still ran through Keith’s body, he slowly let his arms fall from the air, resting around Lance’s trembling body. Lance only stiffened for a moment―a moment that Keith quickly assumed that he’d done the wrong thing―before he relaxed. His body began to push further into Keith as he continued to sob.

Fate was fucking twisted, Keith realized that now. This―Lance being her with him, holding him―was something that Keith had unknowingly longed for. But now that that moment had actually arrived, he felt  _ guilty. _

Lotor was the one that had tortured Lance, but even he had admitted that they’d hurt him too. He had been there, watching as Lance has left. He could have  _ stopped _ him from leaving. Keith was now the one who was scared to touch him. He was afraid that Lance would break. He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he accidentally hurt―

“Thank you, Keith.” Lance’s voice was muffled, as he was still pressed into Keith’s chest. “Thank you.”

Lance’s knees bucked, his body falling to the ground. Keith went down with him also. Not only preventing Lance from accidentally shattering any bones as he crashed to the floor, but also because Keith felt as though  _ he  _ was ready to break also. How could―after everything―Lance could  _ thank him?  _ He didn’t understand why Lance was thanking him, but maybe right now he didn’t  _ need _ to understand why.

Lance still clung to him, sobbing. Keith had become overcome with his own emotions as well. He had been nearly crushed under all of the stress that had been placed on his shoulders since Shiro had vanished. The strain that he’d placed on himself to get Lance back, his hatred towards Lotor―it all seemed to wipe away for a moment. There was an uplifting coolness, a wave that all seemed to wash it away. He felt cleansed, like all the trains that had twisted themselves under Keith’s skin had been soothed. The pressure, the worry, the anxiety, for a moment―it was just…gone. Leaving nothing but an unstained slate, a newness in its wake.

Nothing was left behind. Right now, it just felt like him, and Lance, and the rest of the Universe had vanished.

Still holding Lance in his arms, Keith wept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated on if I should end the chapter sappy or another cliffhanger, but I figured that I've tortured you all enough that I should end this one in a (relatively) good place (for the circumstances they're all and everything)  
> But that means the next chapter will hit the ground running so be prepared


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter honestly made me cry.  
> It's something that I've been planning since the very beginning and I'm really happy with how it turned out (slightly longer also so yay!)  
> And the first chunk was how I was originally going to end the last chapter but I decided to not leave it at a cliffhanger

Haggar forced Lotor to pull out of the battlefield as soon as Voltron had been formed.

He had been denied―publicly rejected,  _ humiliated,  _ in front of the all of the other Paladins and his  _ entire fleet.  _

“This is for the best, your highness.” Haggar was at his side as soon as he exited his ship. “You were given your chance to retrieve the Blue Paladin. Now you can focus your attention on completing your father’s legacy.”

He didn’t speak. Haggar sensed Lotor anger, and refrained from pushing him any further. His Pet was gone, and now there was nothing preventing Lotor from fulfilling her goals.

Lotor left her, retreating to his room. The heat that had once been there while his Pet had been there, was now gone. It left the room feeling cold and metallic.

He did not cry. It was not fitting for the Prince―the ruler of the  _ Universe _ ―to cry. Instead, his feeling boiled down to that of pure  _ fury.  _

He no longer wished to hold what was his. He had outright rejected Lotor, rejoining with his  _ sworn  _ enemy. Lance had made a fool out of him, and his armies. He had made them look incapable of true power only because Lotor could not control his own  _ Pet _ .

He would  _ not _ be made a fool of.

If he could not have the Blue Paladin, then no one else would.

But first, before Lotor destroyed what once was his, he was going to destroy the place the Blue Paladin loved. He was going to destroy the place that the Paladins called  _ home _ .

* * *

 

The damage that had been done to the castle hadn’t been too catastrophic.

Keith wasn’t sure how long he and Lance had just… sat there, crying together, before Allura had come to retrieve Lance, taking him back to his room to rest. 

Shiro had come to ask Keith to help with the castle repairs as well, but Keith barely remembered any of it. He was still stuck inside his head, wondering if what had happened had actually been real. 

No one brought up what had happened while they worked on the castle’s repairs. Keith was grateful for that because for some reason or another, he felt slightly  _ embarrassed _ . Not necessarily in a  _ bad _ way, but he just felt uncomfortable that everyone had seen him so  _ vulnerable _ . 

In general, Keith wasn’t a people person. It was difficult for him to open up to people and actually show them what he was really feeling―especially considering that he didn’t really  _ like _ people in general. Spilling his guts like that wasn’t something that he enjoyed doing. 

Rarely, Shiro saw that side of him, but he was like family to Keith. And Lance had been exposed to that side of him several times while Shiro was missing. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust everyone in the castle, but he had felt so exposed in front of everyone.

It was probably the exact feeling that Lance felt like since he’d gotten back.

Keith couldn’t sleep anymore. Thoughts tumbled around in his head until it got to the point that he was incapable of falling back asleep. So Keith left his room and began to wonder around the dark castle. 

Keith’s bare feet padded nearly silent across the empty halls. He’d left both his shoes and his jacket back in his room and was just now beginning to feel goosebumps forming on his skin. Besides that, he didn’t think that after the events of today, Lotor would attack them again, so he wasn’t particularly worried about being battle ready at the moment.

Allura had told Keith about an observation deck when Shiro had banished. Keith had yet to go up there because he didn’t necessarily like to think about the fact that they were hurling through space at unimaginable speeds. He wasn’t  _ afraid _ of space, he found it fascinating, but thinking about it it made his stomach squirm and caused him to overthink absolutely everything. 

Now, however, the observation deck seemed like the type of place where he could just exist and not have to think about anything other than what was happening in the moment. It seemed appropriate to contemplate life while watching the vast, terrifying beautiful everything.

The door was loud when it slid open, but what startled Keith more than the sound was the other person that sat on the far side of the room.

He panicked. “I’ll just―!”

“No!” It was Lance’s voice that called out to him. “Keith, please. You can stay.”

Keith’s chest tightened, but he stepped inside the large room anyway, the door sliding shut behind him. He joined Lance on the other edge of the room. There were large window seats along the far wall with small backrests every few feet. The windowed wall that looked out onto the surrounding space was so clear that someone might almost believe that there was nothing keeping them from drifting out of their seats and into the void. 

Lance’s eyes followed Keith across the room, nodding when Keith asked to sit, quickly flicking back down, then out into space once Keith was sat across from him. Keith couldn’t help but notice how fragile Lance looked.

When he’d seen him in his jacket earlier, it had looked like it was swallowing Lance whole. Now, his shirt hung baggy off of his limbs to the point that it  _ scared _ Keith. Lance was slowly getting better, but his eyes were still sunken in from fatigue and weight loss, and Keith was sure that Lance’s rib cage would be visible when he wasn’t wearing a shirt.

“Have you been getting enough to eat?” Keith couldn’t help but express his deep rooted concerns. Even if Lance was still mentally recovering, he physically should be recovering quicker. If something was still physically wrong with him they needed to figure out how to fix it.

Lance shrugged, his eyes not leaving the darkness. “I haven’t really thought about it.”

“Lance!” Keith’s words almost cut off the end of Lance’s sentence. Lance flinched, Keith’s words coming out harsher than intended. Keith saw this, making his next sentence much softer. “You can’t just  _ neglect _ life’s basic needs like that! You need to take care of yourself―or  _ ask someone  _ if you need help!”

Keith felt his face flush after speaking, and he prayed that Lance wouldn’t notice. It was normal to cared about someone's well being, but probably not to the extent of which Keith care about Lance’s.

Lance gave a small huff. “I know, I’m sorry. It’s just been… difficult.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Lance.” Keith’s heart beat rapidly enough that he felt it in his ears. He kept his eyes focused on the fingers that toyed with the unfinished edges of the fingers holes of his gloves. “You have to realize that you’ve done absolutely  _ nothing _ wrong.”

Lance himed, drawing his knees up to his chest, chin resting on his knees. He began to speak softly. “But I feel guilty that you all―”

“Don’t feel guilty. You shouldn’t.”

Neither of them spoke for a long time. His heart still pounded in his chest, but he found the silence more comforting than awkward. He just sat there, watching Lance. It almost felt surreal that he was  _ right there _ in front of Keith. After everything, all the shit that they’d all gone through, all the pain, all of them were somehow still here.

They were still here.

“Did it actually happen?” Lance asked suddenly. Keith looked up, confused, but Lance still didn’t meet his eyes.

“After Sendak tried to take the castle, I mean,” his lips pursed together, brows furrowing. “It was the two of us sitting together. I said that we made a good team and―”

“―and I cradled you.” Keith finished. “You were still badly injured, and you passed out. And then I was the one who carried you to the healing pod.” Keith felt his entire face and neck flush again. Lance’s clear blue eyes now bore into him. “Why―?”

“I remember it.” Lance looked away again, nodding slightly. “I remember  _ everything  _ Keith. Blue made it… she made it  _ all  _ come back to me.  _ All at once _ and I―” Lance was beginning to break down again. “I know  _ everything  _ that’s happened but I  _ still _ can’t tell what’s real and what’s not! Everything that’s the truth and all the lies keep getting all mixed together in my head and I don’t know what’s  _ real anymore!”  _ Angry tears fell from Lance’s eyes as he pulled at his hair, hands shaking.

“You can ask.” Keith bit his lip, still unsure of what he was doing. If it was the _right_ thing to do. I know I’m not a therapist―none of us are, but I will _always_ listen to anything you want to talk about. If you ever want someone to listen...”

“I don’t want to―”

“Don’t you dare say that you don’t want to burden or bother us because you  _ don’t _ . You never have, and never will be a burden to me―to  _ any of us. _ ”

When he looked back up again, Lance was staring right back at him with wide, teary blue eyes. He choked back a small sob and Keith instinctively reached out to Lance, drawing back when he realized what he was doing, remembering what Lance had said earlier.

What surprised him what that instead of moving away, Lance reached out to Keith instead. His hand fumbled, managing to lace his fingers with Keith’s, gripping until his knuckles turned pale. Keith was startled by Lance’s sudden reaction, but he didn’t move.

“Keith I don’t know what’s real anymore.” he looked up from their hands, lips wavering. “I need… I want to know the truth, what’s  _ real. _ ”

A lump formed in Keith’s throat and hot tears formed behind his eyes. His chest ached, heart breaking. His lips began to move, but he didn’t know what to say.

“I keep… thinking.” Lance’s hand squeezed tighter. “He told me that you all didn’t need me.” Lance kept his eyes lowered. “He said that you thought I was worthless.”

“Never, Lance.” Keith’s voice trembled as he spoke. “Not  _ once _ have you ever been worthless.” Keith wanted to squeeze the hand that was laced within his own. He wanted to pull Lance in until the world melted around them. He wanted to tell him how important, and special he was but still he was afraid that Lance was going to  _ break. _

Lance looked like he wanted to say something more, but sniffled instead. Keith moved so he was sitting cross legged, scooting slightly closer to Lance, their hands still wrapped together. He looked directly into Lance’s eyes as he spoke.

“Whatever Lotor told you―whatever awful, fucked up things he did to you to make you believe that you are  _ anything  _ less than special and important, and less than what you are―it’s  _ not true _ .” Keith’s words were frantic, somehow trying to find the right words and speak at the same time. 

“I don’t think you realize how _amazing_ you are. LIke I’m _serious Lance!_ You are the _best person_ that I’ve ever known, you are a _light_ in the shitty pit that is life and I was so _lost_ without you here! You’re so _fucking important,_ and you don’t know how _fucking_ crazy I went when he took you!” Keith admitted. “I was _so_ determined to find you―I couldn’t handle _losing you!_ I went fucking _insane_ trying to get you back! I can’t fucking _do this without you!_ ”

Lance’s tears had slowed to a stop. Now it was Keith that was trembling. He’d just spilled his guts to the one person that he, unknowingly for the longest time, cared about the most.

“I’m really sorry Lance.” Keith’s head dropped until his forehead hit Lance’s hand. “I’m  _ so sorry _ that it took me to long to realize how  _ fucking important _ you are to me”

Keith’s heartbeat shook his entire body. His ears rang and he almost felt like he was going to puke. Hot tears fell ono his hands as Lance’s pulled back. Oh  _ God _ he’d made a mistake. He was such a dumbass and he shouldn’t have―

A hand touched Keith’s face, a thumb swiping over a tear that had fallen onto Keith’s cheek. Keith looked up to see Lance scanning over his face. His thumb rubbed softly over Keith’s skin, he was afraid to  _ move _ . 

Keith was afraid that any sort of movement from him would ruin everything. Life would unpause and things would suddenly go back to shit again. He wanted to be here, just sitting here with Lance, on the edge of the abyss as long as humanly possible.

Lance looked as scared as Keith felt. He just sat there for the longest time, examining Keith face, his lips slightly parted. His brows were furrowed, as if debating something. Keith could feel him shaking, but it was mirrored in his own body.

The moment before Lance kissed him wasn’t the stereotypical slow, awkward build up that happened in old “coming of age” movies. But it didn’t suddenly happen all at once either. It was somewhere in between that Keith couldn’t exactly place.

Keith didn’t move. He was afraid that the Universe was playing tricks on him, and that it was going to shatter around him if he made the slightest movement. They were in their own little bubble. Isolated from the world together, and completely untouchable.

Lance gave a sudden gasp as he withdrew, his body slightly shifting away from Keith as if he had just turned into a hot iron. He looked like he wanted to say something, but was too shaken to speak. Lance had started crying again, and Keith’s entire being went into overprotective mode.

“Are you okay?” he didn’t even wait for Lance to reply. “Lance are you alright? I’m so sorry, you didn’t need to―”

“Keith,” Lance swallowed, reaching out to Keith again. He grasped both of Keith’s hands in his own, pulling him close. “I’m okay. Please just…” Lance glanced down again, his eyes appeared to be reading off of some invisible transcript on the ground. “Just realize that I need to take this at my own pace. Just let me do this in my own way. I need to―”

“Okay.” Keith nodded. He gripped Lance’s hands even tighter. His heart swelled with something in between panic and happiness. “Okay. I’ll do anything. WHatever you need.”

Lance nodded, moving again. This time, his back turned towards Keith, pressing up into his chest, between his legs. Keith still didn’t want to hurt him. He was scared of fucking up and hurting Lance. 

As Lance settled, back pressed to his chest, Keith slowly allowed his arms to rest gently around Lance’s hips.  Lance’s body was warm against Keith, who pulled Lance’s curled up body even closer, so that his dark hair was under his chin.

“Thank you, Keith.” Lance mumbled. His knees were lazily pulled up and he sniffled slightly. It broke Keith’s heart to still see Lance like this; trying to pick up the pieces of his shattered life.

“I’m sorry. That it all happened like this―that I didn’t say anything sooner. ” Keith finally replied. “It’s stupid, sometimes. That it’s  _ us _ that have to do all of this. Like, let’s be normal for once.”

“I miss normal.” Lance replied.

“Is it really that hard to do?” Keith continued to stare deep into space, his thumbs moving absentmindedly in small circles. “To just be normal? To just be seventeen?”

“That’s all I want to do.” Lance’s voice was slurred together, his fatigue finally catching up with him.

“When this is all over―when we get back to Earth, we’re not going to be special We’re not going to be the Universe’s defenders―we’re not going to be different.” Keith was just rambling at this point, his exhaustion also catching up to him. But at the same time, what he was saying felt  _ right _ . “I’ll take you to the beach, and then we can go bowling and get ice cream. And we’ll just be  _ normal!” _

Under him, he felt Lance nod slightly. “Okay.”  
Keith felt like his throat was closing in. The tears he swallowed back were―for  once―not from anger, but an overwhelming happiness, a feeling that things were _finally_ going to go right for once. “Okay.”

Neither of them spoke again. Both of them stared into space silently, feeding off of each other’s warmth until both of their sleepless nights finally caught up to them.

Everything was finally right. They were both there, everyone was there, in the castle. No one had life threatening injuries, there were no evil Princes after them, no immediate impending doom or threats of Universal destruction. Everything was okay, they were going to be okay.

This, Keith thought before falling into a deep, tranquil sleep,  _ this _ was real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, I'm so happy with this chapter ☺️ hope all of you are happy with it as well.  
> I'll get the next chapter up as soon as I can, but I do have three AP tests and my SAT coming up so pray for me


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SOOOOO sorry for not updating for like a week

Things seemed to get better after that.

For the most part, everything returned to normal. It all seemed to be like it was before.

There were times where Lance still struggled, but Keith was trying to help him slowly though it. Keith was beginning to see the slight differences in Lance. His mannerisms, the way he reacted to little things. He was getting  _ better _ .

He’d worked up to the point where he could hold Keith’s hand when they were just going about the castle. It appeared that Lance had come to find comfort in Keith, like he was an anchor, a tether to what was real.

Until he was with Lance, Keith hadn’t realized how much he enjoyed this. He had never had a cuddly childhood, and he just ignored it as he got older. But just being around Lance… he hadn’t realized how touch starved he was until now. He just wanted to hold Lance, and keep him close to him all the time.

There were rare occasions where Lance would just lay on top of Keith, cuddling into his chest. Whenever Lance had a day where he dipped back into his bad headspace―when something happened where someone said something, or accidentally overstepped Lance’s limits―and he just shut down.

That was when Keith pulled Lance aside, into one of their rooms and just held him. Sometimes Lance would cry. Sometimes he would scream and rampage around the room. Keith was always there to keep him safe. It never returned to the level of what happened in Lance’s lion, but Keith still worried. He would hold Lance once it was over and he wore himself out.

Sometimes it skipped the screaming and went right to the cuddling.

Keith loved that the most, but he was still pained to see Lance that way. But gradually, he seemed to be improving.

He was actually starting to get back to a state that was somewhat normal. He would go and hang out with Pidge and Hunk now, which would give Keith time to talk with Shiro and just die because of how much he just always wanted to make sure Lance was alright.

Keith knew that things wouldn’t ever really be back to normal, not after what happened, but lance was happier now. He was laughing again.

Currently, Lance had fallen asleep on top of Keith’s stomach. He hadn’t gotten upset by anything earlier in the day, but Lance had been exhausted just from trying to keep up with everything today, and he just needed time to recharge.

Keith didn’t mind at all. He enjoyed the time that he got to spend with  _ just _ Lance. He felt that it was calming for both of them. Keith just felt relaxed when he was with Lance.

Keith eventually found himself drifting off too, on the verge of sleep. At least until the bedroom door opened.

“Come on you love bir―” Pidge stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the two of them. Keith opened his eyes, Pidge took a step back, making an obscure face and mouthing the words  _ I’m sorry _ .

Lance shifted in his sleep, Pidge once again cowering at Keith’s glare.

“Hate to interrupt,” she whispered loudly. “But Shiro and Allura want to talk to us about something.” she shrugged before walking away, leaving the door open.

Sighing, Keith shifted gently to shake Lance awake. “Lance,” he spoke softly. “Lance you have to get up. The others want to talk to us.”

Lance gave a soft whine as he regained full consciousness. His arms stretched out to his sides before his head collapsed back onto Keith’s chest. “Nope. To comfortable. Not going to happen. I don’t want to move.” he grumbled, his voice muffled by Keith’s chest.

“I know,” Keith sighed again. “But we kind of  _ have _ to.”

Reluctantly, the pair got up to meet the others on the Bridge. Lance practically hung off of Keith, allowing all of his body weight to fall on Keith. It was somewhat painful, but, to Keith, it was worth it.

“You’re  _ warm _ .” Lance mumbled as Keith directed towards Shiro, Allura and Coran, who all spoke in hushed tones. Instantly, Keith felt his hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

Pidge groaned from where she sat. “I  _ totally  _ understand about when you’re alone in your room but are you  _ serious _ about doing this in public?!” she made a gagging sound.

Lance looked over to her, squinting his eyes in a glare. Still half-asleep, he slowly raised his hand and flipped her off.

Typically, Shiro would’ve scolded the both, but he didn’t even glance towards them. 

“Shiro what’s going on?” Keith demanded in a soft voice. After all that had happened, he couldn’t just sit here, waiting for something to go wrong. If something was wrong Keith just wanted to know so they could  _ fix it _ .

Everyone’s heads turned to Keith, then they all impatiently turned to the three actual adults in the room. Allura and Shiro exchanged a look. A look that gave Keith a painful feeling in his gut.

“I suppose you all have noticed,” Allura began. “That the Galra’s attacks within the past few weeks have become increasingly scarce.” 

“I mean, I know they’re _super bad_ and all,” Hunk shrugged. “But if they haven’t been attacking, isn’t that good for us? After everything that’s happened, a break as nice.”  
“I’m afraid that is not the case.” Allura looked down, pursing her lips. “Within the past few days, it appears as though Prince Lotor’s forces have begun to converge And…” she looked afraid to speak. “They have begun to move towards Earth.”

Keith was too stunned to speak. Sure it was his home, but Keith didn’t really have anything back on Earth that he cared about, that he had a deep connection to. But the others did.

Lance did.

Keith felt Lance’s arms drop from his chest. He was already tearing up when Keith turned towards him. 

“Shiro he… they―” Lance choked on his tears. His face looked so completely  _ broken _ .

There was pity in Shiro’s expression. He was the one who might possibly know the mental strain of what Lance went through. “We have roughly three days before they reach Earth. We… we don’t know what they’re going to do when they get there.”

There was a moment where no one spoke. Then Lance sprinted out of the room.

“Lance!” Keith called after him, not pausing to look back to the others. 

Fuck. Keith knew how much Lance cared about his family, they were more important to him than anything. He knew how much he worried about them, and how often he thought about going back home. 

Keith couldn’t imagine how this new information was going to affect him.

Keith found Lance sobbing in a far corner of the castle bathrooms. The fancy space showers were automatic, so Lance was soaked to the bone, the clean water mixing his tears.

Keith wasn’t sure if he was shaking because of the cold water, or because of how scared he was. But he just looked like his entire world had been  _ shattered _ .

“Lance, Keith breathed, crouching down to grip his shoulders. “Lance hey―you’re going to be alright. We’re going to fig―”

“It’s  _ not _ going to be  _ okay, Keith!” _  Lance screamed, pushing Keith off of him. Keith landed on the wet floor, the water quickly soaking through his clothes, but none of it mattered at the moment.

“He’s going to  _ find them _ Keith! He’s going to find them and he’s going to  _ hurt them! _ He’s found us so many times and Earth is  _ nothing _ compared to the entire fucking  _ Universe! _ ”

“Lance!” So much, Keith wanted to reach out and comfort him. “I promise you, we’re going to stop him. I swear to you, he’s not going to hurt you. We’re going to fight him and we’re going to stop―”  
_“I don’t know if I can!”_

Keith fell silent as Lance avoided his gaze, struggling to find the correct words to say. “I… I don’t know what I’m going to do if I have to face him again. I don’t think I can―I don’t think I’ll be able to  _ move _ if I have to see him again.”

“Lance…” Keith didn’t know what to say―there was nothing that he  _ could _ say in a situation like this. Nothing could ever remedy the fact that the person who had  _ tortured  _ Lance to the point of nearly losing himself was going after his home, after his  _ family _ . 

“Keith?” Lance whimpered. Keith hummed in response, looking up to see Lance sniffling, looking at him with pleading eyes. “Can you?”

Keith instantly nodded, pulling Lance into his arms. Lance’s tears turned into open sobs, and he clutched Keith’s shirt hard enough to turn his fingers white.

“Hey, you don’t need to worry. Everything is going to be alright. I _promise_ you―I _swear_ that I will keep you safe.”  
Lance whimpered again. “Really?”

“Always Lance. Everything is going to be alright.

That was what Lance needed to hear right now. After all the shit he’s been through, with all of the shit that was to come, he needed some sort of reassurance that things would be fine.

But truthfully, Keith wasn’t sure if all of them were going to get out of this alright.

If they were all going to get out of this  _ alive _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While writing this I thought: how to make this more dramatic? how to give the people what they want?  
> make them cry  
> but do it in the shower  
> ~Until next time!~  
> Phoenix


	18. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to get this up yesterday, but I got really sick and was vomiting and then seriously slept for five hours in the middle of the day. And this is just a long chapter in general, so it took a while to type up.  
> feel free to scream at me on tumblr/instagram @thespasticphoenix  
> ALSO!! A few people have done art for the fic, and if any of you end up doing any more pleasepleaseplease P L E A S E tag me!!! Or tag it #vldstolen (i guess???) because I'd love to see any art that you guys have done!!!  
> But hey!! Here's the second to last chapter! Have fun getting your souls broken!

Everyone was stuck in a silent sense of urgency during the course of the following days. Shiro and Allura continuously discussed possible strategies about plans of attack. How to make sure there were the least amount of casualties as possible―because people  _ were  _ going to get hurt.

Pidge was pushing herself to try and upgrade every single piece of tech possible. She was in her lab and carried on with little sleep, snapping at anyone who bothered her.

Lance spent a lot of time with Hunk. Keith had never met Lance’s family―and as much as Lance had told Keith about them―Hunk could probably provide more comfort for him that Keith could right now.

Keith then spent all of the time when he wasn’t with Lance, in the training room.

He continuously pushed himself to the point of near collapse. After every few hours, Keith would walk away dehydrated with aching muscles, but it never stopped him from returning to train.

Keith would do whatever it took to keep Lance out of Lotor’s hands for good. He’d had enough of that creepy asshole taunting them―torturing lance both mentally and physically.

Keith still had a small scar on his leg from the last time he faced Lotor. He’d taken Lance again that time, he remembered the shock that he had felt when Keith had seen how broken Lance was. Keith had thought Lance had died that day―but never again.

Never again would Keith allow Lotor to hurt Lance―to hurt  _ any _ of his team.

Early in the afternoon, one day before they would be returning to Earth, the training simulator just…stopped working. 

Keith assumed that it was most likely Allura or Coran who had shut it down, and Keith was somewhat pissed, but realized that it was probably for the best. Keith hadn’t fully considered that he might wear himself down before the final battle. If it reached the point where there had to be hand to hand combat, pushing himself now would end up bad later.

Keith went to take a cold shower in an attempt to alleviate some of the strain under his skin. He didn’t get out when his entire body went numb. Keith didn’t cry, but he was so  _ worried _ . Every possible situation, everything that could possibly go wrong ran through his mind. There was a churning in Keith’s stomach that refused to dull.

Since the training room was out of commission, Keith just went back to his room and sat. He didn’t want to think about what could happen tomorrow, but he just couldn’t  _ stop _ .

At some point or another, the door opened, but Keith didn’t react. A new source of warmth then moved up and hugged Keith’s chest.

“You’re freezing.” Lance grumbled.

“I took a shower.”

“Your hair is wet.”  
“Tends to happen.”

“Can I… Keith opened his eyes to see Lance’s downcasted eyes as he toyed with the fabric of Keith’s shirt. “Can I braid it?”

After a moment of comprehending what Lance had just asked, Keith moved off of his bed, so his back was pressed up against the side.

Lance’s fingers were timid at first, gently pulling at Keith’s hair, gaining more confidence as he went. Twisting strands of Keith’s hair until Keith fell into a tranquil haze.

“We get to go home tomorrow.”

Keith didn’t answer.

“It’s all going to be different now.” Lance continued, still braiding. “Nothing is ever going to be the same anymore.”

“We’re not the same.”

Lance paused, pulling the braid apart again. “It isn’t really  _ us _ going home, is it?”

“It is.” Keith replied. “We’re just different now. It’s still us, we’re just… stronger.”

“If I’m stronger, then why and I so  _ scared? _ ”

Keith stood, moving to sit on the bed next to Lance. He pulled Lance’s body closer to his own, giving him a tight squeeze. “It’s okay to be scared―I’m scared, Lance. It’s normal to be scared of something like this.”

“I’m scared that I’m going to lose  _ everything _ .” Lance’s voice quivered, tears welling his his eyes.

“We aren’t going to lose.” Keith spoke with a sort of affirmation. “We’re stronger than him. We’re going to win.”

“I hope so.”

The two of them slowly maneuvered so that they were both laying on their sides. “We’re all going to be fine, Lance. You’ll get to go home.”

“Are you?” Lance asked suddenly. “If it all ends after this...what are you going to do?”

Keith hadn’t completely thought about this. “I don’t have anything that I  _ need _ to go back to.” 

“Then you should come with me.” Lance mumbled. “Come home with me and you can… I don’t want you to leave.”

“Okay.” Keith replied instantly.

Lance looked up to him with wide eyes. “Really?!”

Keith smiled down at him. “Really, really.”

* * *

 

The next morning was somber.

Both Keith and Lance went straight to changing into their Paladin armor instead of their normal clothes.

Neither of them spoke. The way Lance’s hands trembled spoke louder than any words. Before they went to join the others, the two of them just stood together, Keith gripping Lance’s hands to his chest, foreheads pressed together.

No one spoke when they all entered their Lions. Allura created a wormhole and they all moved towards it.

Then, suddenly in front of them, was  _ Earth _ .

A wave of nostalgia hit Keith square in the chest. He wasn’t sure how long it had been since they left Earth, Keith felt so much older now.

Oh his display, Keith saw Lance’s expression. He was beginning to tear up, but he couldn’t tell if he was in awe or heartbroken.

When they arrived, the space beyond Earth’s atmosphere was still empty. Shiro explained their strategy on keeping the Galra from touching down on Earth, to prevent as many civilian casualties as much as possible.

They didn’t know how long it would be before the Galra would show up. So they waited. And waited.

They all knew that Lotor had been pulling nearly all of the Galra’s forces together to come to Earth. Even knowing that fact, he was completely  _ overwhelmed _ with how  _ massive _ all of his forces were.

There was no vice, no announcement from them saying that they had one more chance to give up. One more opportunity to protect their planet, Lotor’s ships just began to open fire on them as soon as they appeared in the sky.

There were no declarations that this would be their final battle. They all just knew that this was  _ it. _

It was all or nothing now.

The only words that were exchanged were brief, giving directions, a heads-up, or quickly dictation where someone was moving next.

Keith couldn’t even glance to check on Lance without getting bombarded with rounds upon rounds of fire. There was going to be no way that they could form Voltron like this.

Then, for a second, everything froze. Lance had begun to speak, but his words turned into a painful scream. Keith didn’t see what exactly had happened, he didn’t see what hit his Lion. But whatever did, it spun Lance out of control, sending him, and his Lion, spiraling towards Earth.

Keith’s instincts were to send his Lion in a nosedive after him, but he  _ knew _ what was at stake. None of them would survive if they couldn’t save Earth. But still his heart was screaming, Lance was―

Keith saw  _ the _ ship―Lotor’s ship―go after the falling Blue Lion. Keith just about  _ lost it _ .

“Keith!” Shiro called to him over to all the noise. “ _ Go!” _

Instantly, Keith pulled back from the battle and aimed Red towards Earth.

Keith could not feel the heat of the atmosphere as it consumed his Lion. He  _ knew _ that he should’ve stayed and fought, but once again his emotions were all consuming and there was no way in hell that he would let Lance be in the hands of that creep again.

Lotor was going to  _ die _ before he ever lay a hand on Lance again.

The sheer force of the gravity that aided Keith’s dive was almost bone shattering. But if he could save Lance from the possibility of Lotor’s terror, he would do anything.

Keith just about crashed onto the dusty plane of sand that was the Earth, trying to pilot and locate Lance at the same time. Keith was thankful for Red’s slight intervention, or else he would’ve ended up in a pile of red scrap metal.

Keith didn’t have any time to relish in the warm night air of the desert. To take a deep breath and breathe in the Earth’s oxygen, to admire his own Galaxy's constellations―the ones that he had studied night after night while he tried to find Shiro. 

He’d managed to beat Lotor down here, but adrenalynn was pounding through his body. There was only thing that was important right now: finding Lance and getting him out of here before Lotor could get to them.

Lance’s Lion wasn’t too far from Red, but Blue looked to be in terrible shape.

Keith just about threw the partially damaged parts of Blue away to find Lance in the steamy air. It made Keith’s lungs seize up, but he saw Lance’s partially limp body in the cockpit of his Lion, and he was instantly alert. He looked badly bruised, but not broken.

“That was one hell of a fall.” Lance sounded half drunk when he spoke. 

Keith couldn’t help but let out a tiny laugh. “Are you okay, idiot?”

“Yeah,” Lance’s head rolled as he tried to sit up. “Welcome back to Earth.”

There was a moment of relief, but the predicament of their situation run in the back of Keith’s mind. “Lance we gotta go. We have to―”

“ _ No!” _ As out of it as he seemed right now, Lance was very resistant in this. Squeezing Keith’s arm in an attempt to keep him from pulling Lance out of here. “I’m  _ not _ leaving without Blue. Absolutely not.”

“No Lance,” Keith panicked. “We need to go rig―”

“Well,” Keith watched as Lance’s entire body went stiff. “It seems that Blue and Red…” Lotor stepped into the Blue Lion. “Want to create  _ purple _ .”

Keith was about ready to go over and punch that asshole in the face, but he couldn’t seem to pull himself away from Lance.

“Well, Pet…” Lotor continued. “I’m more  _ purple _ than either of you will  _ ever be _ .”

“I thought you were supposed to be trying to take over the Universe, or destroy Earth or something?” Keith shot back.

Lotor pulled the same sword, that he had used against Keith during their first rescue attempt, out of a sheath, grinning. “What’s the Universe if I can’t have a little  _ fun _ in between?” Lotor stepped forward.

Keith activated his Bayard in return. “Stay back.” he threatened through his teeth. Lance stood behind Keith’s outstretched arm. Never again.

Lotor raised his eyebrows, eyes glancing between Keith and Lance. He lifted his arms in mock defence, laughing. “My, Red Paladin. I would say that I am quite terrified by your display of protectiveness. Except the only think that the person that you’re trying to protect is a weak excuse for a Paladin. Just a useless Galran wh―”

Keith lunged at Lotor, his blade meeting with Keith’s. Instantly,  Keith knew that there was the large possibility that he made fail. Even after the endless amounts of training, Keith felt as though Lotor’s strength was just  _ slightly _ more than his own. His push just  _ that  _ much stronger than Keith’s, and it may end up costing him.

“You lost the last time, Paladin.” Lotor smirked as they moved, back and forth. “Are you willing to let your  _ beloved _ watch you fail?”

Keith huffed, sweat beginning to drip down from his hairline. He waited for the moment when Lotor’s eyes flicked to Lance, that being the moment that Keith knocked him back. “I’m going to make sure that he sees me kick your perverted ass!” That was enough to throw Lotor off balance, knocking him out of Lance’s Lion.

The night air was a contrast to the thick heat within the Lion. Keith was too focused on Lotor to relish in the change. Keith knew that the longer he could Lotor distracted, the longer that Lance would have to get away.

“You know that there is no way that you will be able to win this, Keith.” Lotor knocked Keith backwards when their swords clashed again. “It is inevitable that you  _ will _ fail.”

“You’re dumb as shit if you think I’m going to give up.” When Keith lunged forward again, Lotor brought the handguard of his blade up, knocking Keith in the lip, splitting the skin.

There was a moment of disorientation, Keith could taste the copper of his blood. He wasn’t as strong as Lotor, but there was no way in hell that he would stop fighting now.

“No. I don’t believe you will, you’re too strong willed.” Lotor mused. The air around him began to shimmer, like a desert illusion. “But that means that it will be that much more fun to  _ break you _ .”

Keith felt like the world was swaying. The shimmer in the air began to split, and then there were two purple assholes. Then four. Then eight. Then sixteen.

This was  _ not _ a good day.

Keith couldn’t tell which Lotor was the real one. Taking on  _ one _ Lotor was difficult enough, but there number endlessly grew, he didn’t know how he was going to survive. Each of them felt real enough as they attacked. Keith was taking a fucking beating.

He could hardly fucking  _ breathe. _

Most people, human, robot or otherwise, couldn’t match Keith’s skill level, but there was very little chance that Keith could takin on this may people alone―especially when they were  _ better _ than him.

Keith couldn’t hear the voices that shouted in his comms, nor could he comprehend that taunts that came from the ever growing number of Lotors that surrounded him. His body  _ ached _ . There were black spots in his vision. There was a throbbing in his ribs. Keith wasn’t sure if he was going to make it out of there alive.

“ _ Keith! _ ”

Keith’s head whipped around to see Lance, but he found Lotor standing next to him, sword pressed against Lance’s throat.

Keith froze. “ _ Don’t. _ ”

He could see Lance’s bottom lip trembling. His face was cut and he was crying. All of Keith’s muscles tensed, one wrong move and Lotor would  _ kill _ Lance.

“Why shouldn’t I?” Lotor mused, his tongue moving across his teeth sickeningly. “If he isn’t  _ mine,  _ why should he get to be  _ yours? _ ”

Keith’s heart pounded in his ears as he attempted to focus on the pair, but failed. Rage filled his vision, laughter came from all around him. His fingers gripped his bayard, he could see Lance’s lips moving, but couldn’t hear what he was saying. There could’ve been screaming, but Keith wasn’t sure.

In a moment of pure rage, Keith charged forward, mind filled with the same furious thoughts that had bubbled within his mind since Lotor first layed a finger on Lance. 

This was the final fucking straw.

Keith might have screamed―Lance might have screamed―but nothing could’ve prevented Keith from charging at Lotor. That bitch was too bus laughing and had let his guard down. Never again would he touch Lance. Never again would he taunt and abuse them. Never again would Lotor hurt―

There were several moments between the impact of Keith’s Bayard, and the realization of what he had truly done.

Lotor’s voice cackled again, this time from behind Keith. His voice should  _ not _ have been behind him.

It was Lance’s pained gasp that made Keith truly realize what Lotor had done. Keith was an idiot. It was face, an illusion, an apparition, a figment of Keith’s imagination. It had been a glamor, the same magic that he had used to escape from the castle the night he took Lance. It hadn’t been Lotor who was standing there, the one that Keith had charged.

It had been  _ Lance _ .

On instinct, Keith reeled back, pulling his Bayard from Lance’s stomach. Keith could vaguely hear the engine of Lotor’s ship starting up, but all of Keith’s attention was focused on Lance. Tears were forming in Lance’s eyes, and small gasps of pain left Lance’s mouth.

Never in Keith’s life had he believed in any sort of religion. But right now, he would pray to  _ any _ God. They were going to need a miracle to get out of this alright. Keith would give absolutely to go back and undo the mistake he had made.

“Shit shit shit  _ shit! _ ” Keith dropped his Bayard in time to catch Lance, preventing him from crashing onto the ground. He managed to break Lance’s fall, letting his head rest in Keith’s lap.

“Oh my God Lance I am so sorry.” Keith was blubbering, unsure of what he should do. He was in shock, he couldn’t process it.

Lance’s eyes appeared as they had gone somewhat blank, focusing on the blood that soaked through his flight suit. “Yikes.”

“Jesus Lance!” Keith was in tears. He pressed his hands onto Lance’s wound―the wound that  _ Keith _ had given him―it pained Keith to hear Lance’s moan of pain as he tried to prevent the wound from getting any worse. “Fucking shit, I am  _ so _ fucking sorry Lance!” 

Keith was shaking. He couldn’t undo this. This wasn’t a problem that could just be  _ fixed _ . Once again, Keith had fallen for Lotor’s tricks, and not Lance was suffering because of  _ him.  _ “This is  _ all my fault _ .”

“ _ Keith _ ,” Lance’s movements were sloppy as he reached up into the air. Keith grasped at his hand. Blood was already beginning to bubble up, and out of Lance’s mouth, dribbling down his chin. “Keith, it’s going to be  _ fi _ ―”

“I fucking  _ stabbed you, _ Lance!” Keith was sobbing, his eyes stung and his hand shook. Lance’s lips were trembling and he began to cough up dark blood. “This is all my fault.”

“No, Keith.” Lance gripped Keith’s hand weakly. “You thought you were saving me. The purple bitch made you think that he was going to hurt me. I can’t be mad at you for that.”  
“Fuck that.” Keith let go of Lance’s hand temporarily to try and switch button on the side of his helmet to turn his comms on, but his hands were too slick with Lance’s blood. Keith tried to speak, to get someone to help them, but he couldn't speak. Explosions still burned in the sky above them, so Keith didn’t know if anyone could come even if he was able to contact them.

“Keith,” Lance’s voice was breathless and he coughed again. “Just chill for a minute, alright?”  
“ _Chill?!_ Lance, you’re _dying_ ― _!”_

“We’re all dying Keith!” Lance somehow summoned the stretch to raise his voice at Keith. “Sometimes it just happens sooner rather than later.”  
“Stop it.” Keith’s voice cracked, on the verge of total collapse. “No. You’re not supposed to die―not now, not like this! You’re supposed to go out with a bang!”

“Look at the stars, Keith.” Lance’s voice was barely a whisper. His eyes zoned out on the sky above them, at the stars and silent explosions. “And the sand. It’s so  _ warm. _ We’re back on  _ Earth,  _ Keith!”

Keith could feel Lance’s hand getting colder and colder within his own. Help wasn’t coming. He couldn’t get Lance back to Red, and Blue was in no condition to fly. Keith didn’t even think he’d be able to stand, let alone move Lance without hurting him. It pained Keith to know that this might be the last time that he’d ever get the chance to be with Lance. It was a fate that Keith might have to accept.

“Yeah Lance… we are.” Keith’s finger slipped from his helmet again and he gripped Lance’s hand once again, squeezing it for all it was worth. “And I’m going to be _right here_ , with you until they get here. They’re going to defeat Lotor and they’re going to―”  
“Keith I really love you.” Lance sounded like he was going to cry. His eyes weren’t open as he spoke. “I just want you to know that before―”  
“Stop that.” Keith was choking on his own tears, shaking Lance in an attempt to keep him awake. “You’re going―you’re going to be _okay_ goddamnit, you’re going to be _fine!”_ Keith was trembling, he didn’t know what to fucking _do_.

“You don’t need to worry Keith.” Lance’s breathing was labored, his mouth slightly parted. “I’m not scared.” his voice cracked as he spoke.

“Everything’s going to be fine, you don’t need to be scared.” Keith was crying though his fake smile. There was a lump in his throat that made it hard to breathe. Keith’s chest tightened even more when Lance didn’t reply.

Keith fucking  _ flipped _ . Lance’s face had gone even paler and his skin cold. The comms weren’t working, Lance was  _ dying _ and Keith was just  _ sitting here _ because he couldn’t do anything about it.

A light seemed to have slowly begun to descend upon them, but Keith clutched at Lance’s hand like it was the only thing keeping him here. There was a pain in his chest that continued to grow. He wanted to puke, this  _ couldn’t  _ be real―things  _ couldn’t _ end like  _ this! _ Not after everything that had happened―not after Lance had overcome the worst possible thing that could happen to a person.

Keith had lost nearly everyone important to him at one point or another. Not Lance. Not after everything that Lance had suffered through, this wasn’t the ending he deserved. Keith couldn’t lose him.

Keith pressed his hands even harder onto the gaping wound in Lance’s stomach. No one was coming. Lance was going to die and Keith couldn’t save him.

Keith was  _ losing him. _ Again. Keith couldn’t  _ stop it _ . Lance was  _ dying. _

As he cried, Keith couldn’t help but scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter guys, it's the final stretch!!  
> 


	19. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm seriously crying right now.   
> I'll post an "Author's note" as another chapter to talk about all the sappy stuff.  
> Follow me ig/yt/tumblr for more @thespasticphoenix
> 
> Now.......  
> enjoy <3

There was a bright white light above him that made his eyes burn. His throat was bone dry and his cracked lips stung.

A sharp pain lightninged through Lance’s body as he attempted to move upright.

“Lance!” It was Hunk’s large hands who gently eased him back into a semi-lying position . Lance’s eyes began to adjust, now able to recognize the hospital-room setting around him. Where was he? Why was he here instead of the castle?

Lance’s eyes widened with the panic that this, that everything that had happened, might have all been a dream.

“Where’s―”

“Keith?” Hunk moved the foldable chair that he sat on across the floor, which gave off a loud screech that made Lance cringe. The noise rang loud in his ears, and within his head; sending a chalkboard scratching sensation down his back.

“He’s fine―we’re all fine―” Hunk’s soft face smiled at him. “They’re just questioning him right now.”

Lance blinked in confusion. “Questioning?”

Hunk’s eyes widened at the realization of Lance’s confusion. “The Garrison, they want to talk to all of us about what happened.” Hunk folded his arms over his chest, looking Lance up and down, seeing how pale he still looked.

Especially Allura and Coran, being aliens and all.”

Lance attempted to laugh, but the slightest contraction of his stomach made his muscles scream. He wanted to cry; he could hardly speak.

“Take it easy buddy,” Hunk placed a gentle hand on Lance’s shoulder as he attempted to regain his composure.

“They had to drag Keith out of here,” Hunk spoke again in a low voice that filled the empty air. He reached over to a bedside table to grab a glass of water, bringing the straw up to Lance’s lips so he could continue. He took several  _ long  _ sips of water to quench the burning of his body.

“The Garrison also kinda stormed the castle. We were able to get you into the healing pid, but they forced us to pull you out after only a couple of hours. You know―” Hunk placed the glass back down on the table. “They military is scared of crazy alien healing magic.

That made Lance smirk.

“Keith wanted to be here when you woke up.” Hunk paused, looking down at his hands again. “I told him that I’d stay with you until he got back.”

Hunk hadn’t said anything to confirm that Pidge and Shiro were okay yet. “The others?” his voice was still raspy and choked, even after the water.

“Funny story actually,” Hunk shifted his position again, laughing softly like he knew some funny joke that Lance wasn’t a part of. “A group of rebels showed up while you and Keith were fighting Lotor, we probably wouldn’t have been able to win without them…but guess who was helping lead them? Matt! And so was Pidge’s dad!”

Lance couldn’t help but laugh, as much as it hurt. Pidge had been looking for her family for  _ so long _ , but they’d ended up finding her instead. 

“Everyone’s alright...” Lance mumbled. He wasn’t sure if he was asking Hunk, or reassuring himself, but either way, everyone was―for the most part―in good condition.

“Well…” Hunk shrugged, a small smile crossing his face. “You kinda… got a nasty stab wound in your stomach…” 

Lance scowled, attempting to clear away the fog surrounding everything, all the events that he last remembered. His eyes widened when he managed to piece together what had really happened. “Keith…”  
Hunk gave a long, drawn out breath. “God _damn_ Lance, that boy is torn _up_ over what happened.” Hunk wouldn’t meet Lance’s eyes. “He’s so worried about you―he blames himself for what happened. He just... _forgot_ to eat for the _longest_ time, until Shiro brought him something.”

Lance’s chest tightened, burning with something between guilt and worry. Screw being hurt, Lance was worried about Keith.

“He was  _ so  _ scared Lance―we  _ all _ were.” Hunk reached over and squeezed Lance’s hand. “When they made us pull you out of the healing pod...we weren’t sure if you were going to make it. Even after a few hours, you were still in really bad condition.”  he paused, looking down. “You were so close to  _ dying _ , Lance.”

“Hey,” Lance managed to croak out. “I’m alright, we’re all okay.”

“Yeah, Hunk smiled again, softly. “We’re all going to be okay.”

* * *

 

At first, Keith lingered in the doorway while everyone else greeted Lance. Hugging him and scolding him for almost dying.

When the concentrated group of people parted, making a pathway for Keith, it took only a moment for him to meet Lance’s eyes with his own, Keith’s name hanging off of Lance’s lips, before Keith burst into a puddle of tears.

He sat at Lance’s side sobbing, long after everyone else had left, long after any visitors were allowed, on any normal circumstance.

Keith clung to Lance’s baggy hospital gown, as if he might accidentally fade away. Lance held Keith’s shuttering form close to his own. He tried to reassure him that he was alright, that he was fine and he didn’t blame him, as much as Keith blamed himself. 

Keith still cried, even as Lance continued to heel. He would leave the room every time he saw the long, pale scar that ran vertically down Lance’s torso. After he’d been allowed to walk again, he’d found Keith crying inside of a supply closet. At first, Keith had brushed it off like it was nothing, but soon broke down again, trying to tell Lance to stay away from him because it was  _ his  _ fault that he was hurt. Keith was the one who had nearly killed him.

Five minutes later, both of them were crying in the supply closet, holding onto each other like a lifeline. Keith apologized, pleading for forgiveness in between hiccuped sobbs. 

Lance kept telling Keith that he didn’t blame him, holding his body close, and crying with him. He was alright.

They were all going to be alright. 

Lance later learned the events that had followed the rebel’s appearance in the final battle. Even with two of the Voltron Lions out of commission, the massive addition of the rebels―gathered from across the entire Universe―overwhelmed the once large Galran fleet.

They had been able to take Lotor into custody. It had taken five people to get him into a cell, and two of those people, highly-trained people, in the process.

At first, Lance had wanted to see him―just for the satisfaction of seeing Lotor locked away after everything that he’d done to hurt everyone―but Keith had outright denied him without explaining why. He’d left Hunk with Lance, who then forced him to tell Lance that Lotor had just about gone insane.

He refused to tell Lance much, but Lotor had apparently gone crazy enough that they’d put him in a straight jacket. Lance later convinced Pidge to pull up video footage of where he was being held, only to see the once powerful prince reduced to a mess of screaming threats and tangled white hair. Lance never again asked about what happened to Lotor.

No one had found Haggar, either. Neither on any of the Galra’s ships, or in any escaped pods in the surrounding area. She had just… vanished.

That wasn’t necessarily a  _ bad _ thing, but it didn’t eliminate the fact that she still may be alive, either. The Galra’s armies had been disbanded, their leaders either destroyed, or gone, so―as of now―there was no huge, impending threat to the Universe. Right now, the Universe didn’t really  _ need _ Voltron. But still, Hagger could still be out there, plotting her next move. That was an “if” that they would deal with when the time came. For now, however, they could go  _ home _ .

Lance slowly healed over the next few weeks, Keith remaining by his side the entire time. As hard as it was for him to see Lance in pain, he wanted to be there for him. Keith still cried over what he had done, there was a pain in his chest from the knowledge that he’d nearly  _ killed _ Lance. 

Lance was about ready to hit Keith because of how much he kept apologizing. Lance was fine―or at least he was getting there―but he was fine.

They all were.

* * *

 

Lance stood outside of the house, the house that he had grown up in, eyes locked on the worn handle. After all this time, after everything that he had gone through, he was  _ here _ .

Keith stood at his side, half supporting Lance’s still weakened body. He’d been determined to get out of that illness-ridden hospital as soon as he was allowed, even if that meant he still had pains from his injury, the injury that Keith still felt guilty for.

“What are you thinking right now?”

“I don’t know.” he sniffled, trying to keep his composure. “I...I don’t  _ know _ how to feel. It still doesn’t feel like any of this is completely  _ real _ . You’re  _ finally _ home, Lance.”

Keith gripped Lance’s hand tightly within his own. “It’s real, Lance. I promise.” Keith smiled, now getting worked up with his own tears. It was almost a bittersweet moment; yes, they were back on Earth, but Keith still felt a pain like he was losing part of himself, losing the time that he had gotten to spend in space. It was true that his experiences would never  _ truly _ leave him, and if anything ever happened, they would be called back to the castle, but Keith now came to realize that―in a way―he would  _ miss  _ it all.

Lance smiled, tears now forming. “Yeah,” he squeezed Keith’s hand back. “Let’s go home.”

Lance released Keith’s hand to twist the worn door handle. Keith smiled as Lance opened the door, stepping in and calling out into the warmth of the house. It was then that Keith realized that he didn’t need to  _ go  _ home.

Home was already right in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to post an authors not as another chapter, so I won't post a big sappy thing here, but thank you all so much!!!  
> ~Until next time~  
> Phoenix


	20. Author's Note/Final Thoughts

So instead of doing one,  _really big_ end note, I was like "Screw it lets just post it as a chapter".

But oh my goodness, I have so many feelings right now! I can't believe that I've actually finished! 

First of all, thank you all  _so much!_ You are all so incredibly kind and I would not have been able to complete this without all of your continued support and patience with me, and my inconsistent updating schedule. I've had such a great time reading all of your comments, (even if I didn't reply to all of them, I  _did_ read them!) and just hearing all of your input and support  <3.

Story time!

I originally was very hesitant on position this story when I did. I'd only written the prologue and the first chapter at the time. I haven't written an entire fan fiction since I was a freshman, and even those ended up being really shitty, since I never had a completely clear vision of where I wanted my story to go. So I was extremely surprised on the response I got from the first two chapters! I was originally so worried about not being good enough, or quitting half-way through, but then I was so excited with the response I got, and I was determined to finish!

In retrospect, I am so happy that I decided to publish this story, and have ended up being extremely happy with it overall. I really wanted a Klance fic with Lotor, but didn't end up finding any that fit my "vision", so I decided "WHY THE HELL NOT" and write one for myself. My goal was to write something that I would read, and I feel as though I've achieved that.

So here we are, at the end of a hella angsty story, with a happy ending. I couldn't have done this without your continued support and thank you for all sticking with me through this. I plan on writing a mermaid!au next, so stay tuned for that (it will be the exact opposite of this fic in that it has very little angst, because m e r m a i d s !!!!) 

If anyone wants to do artwork, or just talk about fics, fandoms, or cosplay in general, please send them to me (@thespasticphoenix) or tag #vldstolen if it's specific to this story, and I'll find it!

Again, thank you all so much and stay tuned for more in the near future 

Thank you lovelies <3

Phoenix 


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